


And We Meet Again: Part II

by Elora_Lane



Series: A Second Chance [2]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: ADHD burn, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bandmate!Bellamy, Bellarke are parents, Co-parents to lovers, Domestic Fluff, Drug use is mild though, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flash Forward, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Lots of feels- or so I'm told by awesome readers!, Marijuana, Mild Angst, Mile High Club, Minor Becho, Once the smut starts theres quite a bit, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Secret Child, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex, Soft!Murphy, hidden pregnancy, modern bellarke au, singlemom!Clarke, six years later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 07:47:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 32,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19459570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elora_Lane/pseuds/Elora_Lane
Summary: Six years after last seeing one another- Clarke and Bellamy run into each other, and he gets a surprise.**Nominated for BFWA's Best Fluff WIP. It made it to the second round! Thank you to everyone who voted! Ya'll are lovely!**





	1. Track One: Of Lies and Time Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sassqueenblake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassqueenblake/gifts).



> This fic is set in 2019. Six years after Clarke disappeared from Bellamy's life.
> 
> Rating may change later due to smut
> 
> UPDATE: Rating did change, due to smut.

_February 22nd_ _, 2018_

_“Echo Stark, will you marry me?”_

“Oh, yes babe!!” Miller sang, in a mock southern accent- the one he used when he was making fun of women, “We’ll just need to exchange this ring for one in white gold... and a bigger diamond.” 

Bellamy rolled his eyes, putting the ring back in its holder, “seriously Miller, you said you’d help me.” 

“Yes, I did... but we’ve looked at over a hundred rings, and I think my eyes are about to bleed,” he said, sounding strained. Looking at his friend (and publicist), Bellamy just rolled his eyes. When the lady came back to him, he told her he was finished looking at the engagement rings and thanked her for her time. Walking out of the store, Bellamy heard a camera flash- ugh, he couldn’t go anywhere. Putting his sunglasses and hat on, he tried to go incognito. Just a few steps from his car, someone stopped him. 

“Bellamy Blake?” the kid asked, okay maybe he wasn’t a kid, but he was definitely nineteen at most. 

“Yeah?” 

“Dude, can I get a pic with you?” 

Taking his glasses off, Bellamy put on a smile, “sure,” he said. 

He found out the guy’s name was Doug, and Doug had attended _all_ of Sanctum’s shows in the last four years. He asked if Echo was as hot in person as she was on tv. Gritting his teeth Bellamy just nodded. Much to his relief, his phone began to ring in his pocket. As he answered it, Miller tried to talk to Doug- probably so he’d get the hint and leave them alone. 

“O?” he asked, surprised that she’d called- the last few years had been stressful, to say the least, and Octavia had been angry at Bellamy for not being around for mom- it didn't matter that he was paying for all her cancer treatments... 

“Bellamy,” her voice sounded so small, and it was chased by a muffled sob, “Bellamy, you need to come home. It’s Mom.” 

* * *

_Aurora Jolene Cutler (Blake), born July 22_ _nd_ _, 1964, passed away peacefully in her home, surrounded by her family. For three years, Aurora fought hard against stage four Lymphoma. She was a source of strength to all of those around her. She was_ _preceded_ _in death by her first husband, James Bellamy Blake, and her second husband, Joseph Cutler. She is survived by her eldest son, Bellamy Blake, her daughter, Octavia Blake (and her fiance, Lincoln Holmes), and her stepson, Mason Cutler. Services will be held..._

The obituary went on, but Clarke couldn’t continue to read it. Feeling numb she put the paper down and looked up at her daughter. As soon as Rory was born, her mom had called Clarke’s bullshit. Anyone could tell that Rory was Bellamy’s child, she had his warm brown eyes, freckles that came out years later, and a warmer complexion than her mom- to top it off, she even had her dad’s dark curls. 

From her mother, she inherited being left-handed, and rounder features than the Blake side gave her. 

“Mommy? Are you sad?” 

“Yes, Rory, Mommy’s a little sad.” 

“Why?” 

_Because your grandmother died_ , she wanted to say, _and you never met her._ She didn’t know you existed. Clarke’s heart ached for Aurora, who had lost two husbands- and now, Bellamy and Octavia had lost her. And she never knew. 

“Sometimes adults get sad, and it’s okay,” she said, smiling at the little one. Thankfully, Rory dropped the subject. 

Clarke got up and grabbed the scissors. Carefully, she cut out the obituary- it was another newspaper clipping to add to the shoebox. She promised herself, once again, that she would tell Rory when she was ten (last year, it was going to be when she turned six, but then Clarke had seen a special on TV about Bellamy Blake and his “Road to Recovery” from the depths of Major Depression- and suddenly, it was too soon). 

Rory had only asked once if she had a Daddy. Clarke didn’t lie, and Rory didn’t ask who he was, she just let it go. 

The only person Clarke voluntarily told was Murphy (well, and Emori). Murphy had helped her move her stuff out of O’s apartment right after Raven’s wedding. Clarke had left a check for the duration of the lease and apologized in a note. She asked that neither Octavia nor Bellamy try to find her. 

As far as she could tell, they had respected her request, and that ate at her. At this point, Clarke knew it was too late to tell Bellamy... He would hate her, wouldn’t he? 

Fighting the desire to contact them and give them her condolences, Clarke started cleaning breakfast up. 

“Okay, Rory, get ready to go to Grandma’s. We gotta stop at the café first,” Clarke said, smiling. 

“Alright, Mommy!” Rory said, springing up from her seat and running up the stairs- that kid, she had so much energy, it was hard to keep up. 

* * *

_“Our Father, who art in heaven...”_

_More time,_ Bellamy thought to himself, that was all he needed. But he couldn’t have it... he could never have it again. Try as he might, he hadn’t been able to cry yet. As Echo sat next to him now, her hand in his, he had no feeling whatsoever. 

His mother was dead. She’d never see him get married, she’d never meet her grandkids, she’d never open her eyes again. 

For all his successes as of late, Bellamy couldn’t help but feel like a failure. He had failed her. He had been so afraid of facing his mom’s illness, that he didn’t interact with her during her last days... Octavia had told him he would regret it, and he did. 

_“Look, just because Clarke left you and hurt you, doesn’t mean you get to shrink away. You need to deal with your abandonment issues, Bellamy,” Octavia had stopped by one of his shows shortly after their mother was diagnosed._

_“This isn’t about Clarke!” He had yelled angrily, “I’m busy, O. I have a demanding job now... I spent the last three years working my ass off, and I can’t stop now. Mom is doing Chemo, right? I’ll pay for her medical expenses.”_

_“I think she’d rather just see her son, Bell.”_

_“Is there anything else?” he asked, staring his sister down. So much had changed between them. O was right, of course, he did have some major abandonment issues. After Clarke’s inexplicable departure, he spent the better part of three years doubting himself- whether he deserved love, whether or not he drove her away. Maybe he didn’t love her enough? Maybe he was unlovable._

_Eventually, he settled on the fact that he was unlovable. That was why she left. That was why he couldn’t burden his mother in her last days- because he didn’t deserve love. As irrational as it sounded, that was his truth. After O left, Bellamy tried to call Clarke’s number- it was disconnected, still._

_It’s not like she was going to get that number back._

As they sat in pews, O got up to deliver the Eulogy. Of course, it was common for the eldest to do it, but Bellamy had felt too out of place. He knew O had earned it. She had spent three years taking care of her- she deserved all of their mom’s love, not him. She talked about how proud her mother was of both her and Bellamy. She said that in her last days, she wanted everyone to know that she never held anything against them. That she loved and forgave everyone- and that she had learned how to love and forgive herself, as well. 

O then shared a prayer that her mom and written for everyone in attendance- and that was what broke him. He knew it was wrong, but he had to get out of here. Looking at Echo, he squeezed her hand and muttered that he needed air. Walking out of the Church, he lit a cigarette. He had made it through half of it, when someone bumped into him. Turning around he saw a little kid who hadn’t been watching where she was going. Bellamy immediately put out his cigarette. 

“Oh, sorry mister!” she said, smiling, “are you crying?” 

“No, I’m fine,” Bellamy said, looking at the little girl. There was something familiar about her. Wiping the few tears he had in his eyes, he tried to smile at the kid, “Where are your parents?” 

“My Mommy is in the café- she’s the boss there. I was just going to see the vet- Dr. Raven lets me pet the doggies.” 

“I bet she does,” Bellamy laughed, “Raven’s nice like that.” 

“Rory!” A familiar voice came from across the street. At the sound of it, Rory’s face went from one of curiosity to panic, “Rory, what did I tell you about crossing the street by yourself?” 

Bellamy’s heart froze as he realized exactly who was in front of him. _Clarke._ As she gave her daughter a stern look, Rory, began to squirm. 

“Mommy, I-” 

“We will talk about it later, little missy. I’m so sorry, sir. I hope she didn’t-” when their eyes met, Clarke looked confused, and then she recognized him and went pale.

“Bellamy-" 

Without a word, Bellamy left her there and walked back into the church. 


	2. Track Two: Watching and Waiting

“And then he just walked right back into the church,” Clarke said, “I mean, I know I did something terrible to him- but I owe him an  explanation , don’t I?” 

Murphy stood there, behind the counter at Café  Azgeda and merely stared at Clarke, “Riesling or Chardonnay?” 

“Riesling, please,” Clarke said, and her friend disappeared into the cooler. As soon as he got back, he grabbed a glass and set it in front of her. Keeping his eyes on the glass, he shook his head and poured, “you’re judging me, aren’t you?”

“I’m not judging you... It’s a tricky situation, Clarke,” he sighed and handed her the wine bottle. With a smiled he took the glass for himself, “you need all of that, friend.” 

Clarke laughed and took a swig. 

“You told me he knew, Clarke.” 

“I know, and I’m sorry I lied,” she really was sorry, “I just- he got famous so fast, and I couldn’t stand the idea of facing him. The idea of being looked at as some gold-digging whore. or worse, having him think I cheated- or that I didn't love him.”

The reasons for not telling Bellamy had morphed over the years, but nonetheless, they were always there. 

“Do you think he noticed? Like he probably didn’t even realize that she’s his,” Murphy looked oddly hopeful, “You know Bellamy can be a little aloof.” 

“No, he definitely noticed. He’s not stupid- and she looks so much like him.” 

“Maybe he’ll be happy about it?”

“Maybe. I don’t know... He just lost his mom. This is probably the last thing he wants to deal with.” 

“Well, I happen to know that Bellamy is staying in his mom’s house. I think he and Octavia are getting ready to sell it. Maybe swing by there and talk to him? He deserves an explanation, and Rory deserves to know her father,” Murphy offered, his brow furrowed in concern, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was pretty pissed when Bellamy told me  Emori should get an abortion- but he was frustrated. I think if he were in my shoes, he would have thought more about it.” 

“That was part of why I left though, I asked him what he would do. He said he couldn’t even think about it, that he needed to focus on his career.” 

“Well, we're all allowed to be a dick once or twice in our lives Clarke. He said that in the middle of frustration, he had no idea what was going through your head.”

“God, I feel like you're blaming me.” 

“No, I’m not. You know I love you.  Emori and I support you no matter what , Clarke. You and Rory are family,  and  that will never change,” Murphy put his hand over Clarke’s and she looked up at him, “It’s just, you know what the right thing is now. So, do it- _do better, Clarke._ ” 

“Oh, god,” she said, tearing up. While she was wiping her eyes, Murphy came around the counter and pulled her into a hug, “thank you so much. For being here for me. ”

“Anytime, Griffin," he sighed, "anytime."  


* * *

_ “Rory...”  _ Bellamy tried out the name. He had to admit, it fit the kiddo. She looked like him, too. And the age... she would probably be five and a half by now? Five years that Bellamy had missed out on- god it hurt. No diapers, no seeing her first steps... was her first-word _dada_ , even though he wasn't there? Did she ask about him? or did Rory think someone else was her Dad? That idea hit him hard in the gut. 

_ "Rory Blake," _ though...  it sounded good, like a name he would have agreed on. 

Who was he kidding- her name was probably Griffin, which was fine with him. 

“Trying out kids names, already? We haven’t even got a ring yet, Bellamy,” Echo said, smiling. Bellamy just laughed, and closed his eyes, trying to conjure the memory of Rory from earlier. He  had  gotten lost in the memory several times, just comparing her to him self \- to his mom  and  dad  even . There was no way that someone else’s kid, “I got a call from my manager. Roan booked me for SNL. I gotta head back... Are you okay here?” 

“Yeah,” he said, snapping out of his fog, “I have a lot of loose ends to tie up here, but I’ll let you know when I’m ready to come back, sound good?”

“Of course,”  Echo offered her lips to him and Bellamy kissed her, it was soft and sweet- but abnormally chaste. After seeing Clarke two days ago, his head was completely turned around.

“I’ll help you with your bags,” he said, grabbing them and taking them to the car. As he closed the trunk, he noticed Clarke sitting in a parked car, reading on her phone. Maybe she wanted to talk? Part of him wanted that, part of him wanted to tell her to get lost. Before echo could get in the car, Bellamy pulled her in and kissed her thoroughly. A little stunned, she stood  against the car and looked at him with wide eyes, as her chest heaved. 

“What was that for?”

“Just a little thank you,” Bellamy murmured, even though he knew he had been trying to make Clarke jealous- part of him wanted to hate himself for it. 

“ _ Well, thank you, _ ” Echo purred. 

“Anytime, babe,” Bellamy said, lightly patting her butt. Echo just let out a laugh, and got in the car, “have fun on SNL.” 

“Will do, love you!”

“You, too,” Bellamy said, patting her car, and watching her drive off. Looking up, he saw that  Clarke’s car was gone. 

So much for talking. 

* * *

Bellamy saw  Clarke’s car outside his mom’s house three more times that week. Each time she would stare at her phone, look up at the house, and then eventually drive away.

“Okay, what ’ s with creepy-stalker out there?” Octavia finally asked, when Clarke sat there again, wearing a red jacket, black hat, and sunglasses. She had put the sunglasses on _after_ they made eye contact. He knew her well enough to know that she was waiting for an invitation.

“It’s Clarke,” Bellamy said, washing the plates after dinner.

“What?” 

“I said, it’s-”

“No, I know... but I mean, why? Why has she been coming here?” Octavia asked, her eyes were wide, “I mean, she’s the one that told us to leave her alone.”

“I’m pretty sure she wants to tell me I fathered her child,” Bellamy was surprised at how casually he could talk about it. However, as the silence lengthened, he grew weary of telling O. A moment later, he  turned, just as she squeezed a glass so hard that it broke.

_“That bitch,”_ she growled.

“Whoa, O, calm down,” he said, “it’s okay, she’ll talk to me eventually- I'm just not going to make it easy.”

“ _ I asked her _ , Bellamy.” 

“What do you mean, you asked her?”

“I asked her if she was pregnant!” Octavia said, looking like she was ready to go to war, “She was throwing up a lot, right before Raven’s wedding... She asked me not to make coffee in the house. I caught her spitting out blueberries- she asked me if they tasted weird.  _ Fuck, I knew it. _ ” 

“Well, I didn’t,” he said, the fact that Clarke knew... suddenly there was something in the back of his mind, a memory that he couldn't quite grasp, “Rory’s a cute kid though. She looks like me.” 

“She named her Rory?” O asked, her voice a little softer now, “like Aurora?”

“Maybe,” Bellamy said, his heartwarming at the thought.  “ I am not sure. I’ll ask- if she ever talks to me.” 

“Don’t you have rights or something? Can't you petition to see her?”

“Maybe. But I’d rather keep this out of the news if I can.”

“I suppose your secret love-child will be the talk of the season,” she said, grabbing a broom and cleaning up the shards of glass,  “I’m sure Echo was thrilled when she found out.”

“Yeah... about that.” 

“Oh, my god- you didn’t tell her, did you?” Octavia was looking at him as if she could see right through him, “Fuck, Bell, don’t tell me you’re thinking about trying to make it work with Clarke?”

“No! Of course, I’m not,” fuck, his ears were burning... “I just, don’t want Echo to feel threatened. She has nothing to worry about, and well, I guess there is a chance the kid isn’t mine.”

“Yeah, because _you and Clarke_ _ never got it on -” _

Just then there was a knock on the door, and Bellamy was immensely thankful for it. 

“I’ll get it,” He said, drying his hands. Opening the door, he took in the sight before him- it was Abby Griffin, carrying a large box, “Dr. Griffin?”

“Hi Bellamy,” she said, with a small, apologetic smile, “Can we talk?” 


	3. Track Three: One Thing at a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy talk for the first time in six years.

“Her name is Rory Blake Griffin,” Abby said, setting down her coffee, “she was six pounds eleven ounces when she was born. She was an easy baby- barely ever cried. She’s quick as a whip and brave to boot. Obviously, you know she looks like her Daddy. She loves everyone in her life fiercely. And if we all go about this the right way, I know she will love you, Bellamy- and she’ll only have happy memories. 

Bellamy took a breath and just continued to look at Abby, he was a bit overwhelmed by what she had said. All the questions he had- they were things that only Clarke could answer. That being said, he wanted to know what was in the box. Even if Rory wasn’t here now, he wanted to get to know her- to get a look into her life. 

“ _I am sorry for what Clarke did,_ _”_ Abby said, setting her hand on Bellamy’s knee. She waited for him to look at her before she pulled away, “She knows that keeping this from you was wrong... There have been so many times she has picked up the phone and wanted to call you. She knows it’s not fair, and Clarke has a lot of guilt about it. That being said, if we can talk through this, release any anger you might have about what happened, I think you and Clarke can work together to create a stable and happy life for Rory- if you want to be a part of her life, that is. If you don’t, no judgment here.” 

“ _Of course,_ I want to be a part of her life, Abby,” Bellamy could feel tears starting to prick his eyes. No, he wasn’t going to cry. Not now... “I don’t understand why Clarke would keep this from me.” 

“I don’t know either. She told me you weren’t the father- but when Rory was born, I knew. I tried to contact you, twice. I was told to submit an email via your band website if I wanted to book.” 

“I- I’m sorry. I wasn’t directly involved with communications-” 

“It’s fine. Now, I’m not going to lecture you, or try to counsel you... if you want to talk though, I am always here, Bellamy.” Abby offered, “I want what’s best for Rory, and for Clarke. And believe it or not, I want what’s best for you, too.” 

All Bellamy could do was nod, his head felt like it had cotton stuffed into it- maybe he was in shock? 

“So, the box- I know there are a lot of photos in there, and some letters to you. I don’t want to compound your pain after the loss of your mother- so I am not going to pressure you to read look at it- it's here for you when you are ready. Okay?” 

When he nodded, Abby just got up and placed the box on the coffee table, “I’m not going to tell Clarke I was here. This is an olive branch I’m extending because my daughter needs some help here- she tends to be self-sabotaging, in case you haven’t noticed. Anyway, if I could, I would give you the whole tree, Bellamy.” 

With that, Abby began to walk away. When she reached the door, Bellamy finally spoke. 

“When is her birthday?” he asked, his voice coming out hoarse. 

“Rory was born on March 25th, 2013.” 

“Thank you, Abby, for this- for taking care of them,” he offered, as he sat with his elbows on his thighs and leaning forward, “you’re a good mom, and a good grandmother.” 

“Just so you know, Clarke is an amazing mom- her whole life has been about Rory. So, please don’t discount her based on one huge mistake she made.” 

Now, the tears did fall. And all he could do was nod. 

* * *

_Today is the day._

Clarke thought to herself, as she sat in her little red Honda Accord and looked at Bellamy’s house. She would go up there, hand him an invite to Rory’s birthday party... Hell, maybe he wouldn’t even want to hate her. Maybe. 

She had done this way too many times, she knew that. By now both Octavia and Bellamy had seen her. Although, she didn’t think Octavia knew who she was. Bellamy definitely did though. 

She was going to talk to him that day, she was just waiting for Echo to leave (also, ECHO STARK?!). When Bellamy kissed her though, Clarke had lost all nerve. Emotions that were long buried had surfaced, and she couldn’t handle it. Clarke had gone to her spot and cried her eyes out. It was the spot where they definitely d _id_ _no_ _t_ watch a meteor shower (the one where Clarke was pretty sure Rory was conceived- since she had forgotten to take her birth control that and the next day). 

Suddenly, there was a knock on her passenger-side window. In her surprise, Clarke screamed and jumped. Registering who it was, she swallowed her nerves and rolled down the window. 

“You and I both know that your way too cute to be paparazzi, Clarke,” Bellamy teased with a smile. All the while, he had his hands stuffed into his jacket, as the February wind was whipping through his dark curls, “Let me buy you a coffee and let’s talk?” 

“Make it a drink, and we’re golden,” she said, unlocking the door. As he sat down, Clarke couldn’t help but stare- she actually really liked the facial hair, it sold the mature look he had with his glasses on. Yes, he was a little softer (maybe even a little rounder), but Clarke still had to keep herself from thinking about kissing him. Of course, she wouldn’t act on it... 

However, she couldn’t lie- when you already knew how good the meal was, it made the menu all that more alluring. 

“Do I have something on my face?” he asked, with a half-smile, while he stroked his beard. 

“Uh, no, sorry,” Clarke just shook her head and told herself to stop being ridiculous- they dated for four months, six years ago... That was a spec of sand compared to how long they had been apart, “Where to?” 

“Wherever you want, Princess,” he said with a smirk. As soon as it was out though, he schooled his expression and looked away- it was clear he hadn’t meant to do that. Despite the fact, Clarke’s stomach flipped and she had to turn away to try to hide her red cheeks. 

* * *

“This brings back memories,” Bellamy sighed, as they walked into the local bar, Shumway's Shanty. “What can I get for you, Clarke?” 

“Uh, a Long Island?” she said, with a little bit of a laugh. Bellamy just nodded and said he’d be right back. Minutes later he showed up with one for each of them. 

“I know you didn’t sit outside my house almost daily for two weeks just to get choked up now,” Bellamy said, when Clarke was halfway through her drink, “are you really that nervous?” 

“Well, how would you feel having to face the biggest mistake of your life?” 

“Charming, Clarke,” he said, her words had stung, “I didn’t realize you regretted dating me that much.” 

“What?” she asked, looking confused, “No! No, Bellamy, my biggest regret is not being honest with you.” 

“Oh,” he said, looking out the window for a moment, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I was scared... We had just talked about Murphy and Emori, and I thought you wouldn’t want her,” Clarke admitted, “I couldn’t bear to make you choose between us and your career- so I eliminated the factor I had control over.” 

She was so matter-of-fact about it, but it still hurt- she didn’t trust him. 

"I would have stuck by you through a termination if that was what you chose." 

"I knew as soon as I took that test, Bell. I couldn't get rid of our baby. I loved you too much to do that." 

"If you loved me, then why did you leave me?" he asked. Six years of emotion itched to surface- suddenly, his throat hurt and his eyes started to sting. But he had to get through this... he needed to know what made him so expendable, "Clarke, I would have-"

 _“Please, don’t,”_ she said, her sharp blue eyes cut right through him, “please don’t tell me what you think you would have done. I don’t think I could handle that today.” 

“So, you lied to me, ghosted me and your best friend- and I don’t get to share how I feel?” 

“You do- just not here, _please_?” Clarke said, as her eyes pleaded with him. The way she looked at him, it made him feel fiercely protective her- despite how angry he should be. Working his jaw, he nodded. After a moment, she spoke softly, “Do you hate me?” 

“I have a lot of confusing feelings right now, Clarke. But none of them are hatred. I don’t think I could ever hate you- even if I wanted to.” Without thinking, Bellamy leaned forward and squeezed her hand. The sudden jolt of electricity between them was surprising and intriguing- if he had less conflicted emotions, he would have even found it arousing. Pulling his hand back, he watched as Clarke covered hers with her other hand and rubbed it. 

_She felt it, too._

“I read your letters,” he said, as her eyes bugged, “your mom brought me some stuff last week. We had a talk- well, she talked, and I listened. Thank you for naming her Blake, it means a lot.” 

“You read all of the letters?” 

“Except for the ones labeled May,” he admitted. May had been when they first hooked up- and he had a feeling those letters were a bit more intimate in nature. There were only four of them- so, he knew Clarke eventually moved on, but it seemed like she needed as much closure as he did, “One heavy subject at a time, right?” 

She nodded. 

“Rory sounds amazing,” Bellamy offered, thinking back to all the letters, “thank you for writing those- they aren’t the same as being there. But, the pictures and the letters, they’re something. I would like to go through the albums with you, and Rory, if that’s okay?” 

“Yeah, that would be good- eventually. Rory loves explaining things, she’ll give you an earful,” Clarke said, smiling, “Actually, I have this for you. It’s an invite to her birthday party- I'm sure you’re busy... but, I thought maybe-” 

“Clarke, I promise, I’m never going to be too busy for her."

 _Or for you_ , he thought to himself.


	4. Track Four: Stay?

“Low tolerance, Griffin?” Bellamy asked, smiling at Clarke, whose eyes were glassy from the alcohol. She was downing some fries and singing along to _American Woman_ as someone sang karaoke. 

“I never drink anymore, Bell,” she admitted, “I mean, I drink wine- because how else would I be a basic bitch? But liquor... Oh, boy.” 

Bellamy couldn’t help but laugh, she was definitely loosening up, “we should get you home, Princess. I’ll drive.” 

“Mmmkay,” she mumbled, fishing out her keys, “here you go, my knight in shining armor.” 

Rolling his eyes, Bellamy grabbed the keys and helped her up. He walked her to her car and helped her get in. “Is Rory home?” he asked when they got inside the house. 

“No, she’s at John Jr.’s... The Murphy’s are watching her,” Clarke said, taking off her jacket, and untucking her dress shirt. When she accidentally showed a little skin, Bellamy’s throat went dry. Clarke disappeared into her bedroom and then came out wearing long pajama pants, a big t-shirt and had her hair in a messy bun. In her arms she carried a pillow and a blanket, “Sorry the guest room is destroyed from when Madi stayed here last... She’s a kid I help out. Anyway, are you cool with the couch? I can drive you home in the morning when I go get Rory?” 

“Of course, that’s fine, Clarke,” he said, smiling. As he stood there, Clarke put a bed together for him. When she was done, she stood across from him awkwardly, as if she didn’t know how to say good night. Feeling brave, Bellamy walked over and pulled her in for a hug. 

“I’ve missed this,” she whispered, burrowing into his chest, she hugged his waist, “I missed you.” 

A little overwhelmed, Bellamy kissed her on the crown of her head, and petted her hair, “I missed you, too.” 

After a minute or so, he was surprised to hear her snore, laughing lightly, Bellamy set her on the couch, and began to walk away. As he did so, Clarke’s hand found his. Confused, he looked down at her and found her staring back up at him.

“Clarke, I-” 

“Stay. Please?” she asked, her eyes pleading. Slowly, Bellamy took his glasses off and set them on the coffee table. With a lump in his throat, he took his shoes off and watched as Clarke shuffled over on the couch. Lying next to her, he let her pull his arm around her and cursed his opposite hand when it sought her hip. Pulling the blanket over the two of them, he relished the feel of Clarke splaying her hand over his chest and letting her cheek rest on him. 

It became evident now how much she had changed. She was a bit curvier, and her face was a little rounder- but just as beautiful as ever. As he thumbed her hip, he felt a bit more cushion than she used to have. She was just as lovely though, and the cuddling was even better, actually. Part of him wondered what it would have felt like, holding her while she was pregnant with Rory... Would her belly have poked him awkwardly, or would it have been soft? Would she have wanted foot rubs or back massages? Would the baby have kicked for him when he was touching her belly? 

Shutting his eyes tight he told himself to stop thinking- he had already missed out on that, and there was nothing he could do about it. He would a lot of firsts with Echo, once they got married. As he thought of Echo, he felt a little pang of guilt- would him laying down with Clarke make her angry? 

_This means nothing,_ he told himself, _this has to mean nothing._

* * *

_**Clarke:** So, I was thinking... would you like to get coffee and officially meet Rory? _

_**Bell:** Yeah. That would be perfect. Does today work? 10 am? _

_**Clarke:** Yep. Perfect. Lets meet at café Azgeda... tell the Barista your drink and food is on the owner's family tab. See you then, Bell. _

Before Clarke could stop herself, she pressed send. _Bell,_ that had always been her name for him. Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if Echo ever called him that... Did he let her call him that? 

The other day had been nerve-wracking, but good, in the end. The Long Island Iced Tea went right to Clarke’s head, and Bellamy had driven her home and slept on the couch with her. Clarke had woken up alone the next morning. She knew she hadn’t dreamed the beat of his heart under her ear, and his warm body holding her. She knew she hadn’t conjured the feel of his thumb on her hip- or the ache it created in her chest and between her thighs. 

She also knew that they couldn’t do that again. She had considered trying to kiss him more than once, and well, he was in a relationship. There was no way she was going to be "thatgirl" _._ And she definitely wasn’t ruining his life again. After she got up and had coffee, she texted Bellamy and asked if he got home safely, he said he did. He thanked her for getting together with him, and for exchanging contact info. He also said he was excited to meet Rory, and to let him know what the game plan was. 

So that brought her to today. Even though Clarke put a little extra thought into her appearance, she told herself that it absolutely was not for him. Nope. Not at all. Next, she had to get Rory ready. After she was awake and her belly was full Clarke gave her a juice box and asked if they could talk. 

“Rory, I have something important to tell you, is it okay if we have a talk?” she nodded, “do you remember that man you met when you ran across the street the other day? The tall one with curly dark hair like yours?” 

She nodded, “Bell-me? That was a weird name.” 

“Well, his name is actually Bellamy... Blake.” 

“Like my middle name?” She asked excitedly. 

“Just like it,” Clarke said, “you see Bellamy and me, we used to be best, best friends. We loved each other very, very much... and we made you.” 

Rory looked up at her like she was speaking German, “Bell-me is my Daddy?” 

“Yes, Rory. But you don’t have to call him that if you don’t want to. You can call him Bellamy or Dad, or Daddy. It’s up to you. Do you think you’d like to spend some time with him today, sweetie?” 

“Are you coming, Mom?” 

Clarke nodded, smiling. 

“Okay. He was really nice, it’s okay if he’s my Daddy,” she said matter-of-factly, “Now I don’t have to share John Jr.’s. I still love Uncle Murphy though.” 

At that Clarke had to laugh, “I’m glad Bellamy got your stamp of approval, sweetie. And Uncle Murphy loves you, too, I’m sure.” 

* * *

Bellamy wished he had a cigarette. 

Feeling a bit stressed out, he wished the nicotine could just calm him. But as soon as he found out about Rory, he threw the pack away. There was no way he was going to contribute to the possibility of getting cancer and leaving her prematurely. Absolutely, not. 

As he walked into Café Azgeda, he looked around for Clarke and Rory. They weren’t there yet, okay. He could do this. He could wait patiently. Walking up to the counter, he tried to decide what to get. 

“Whoa, who let the dog in?” Murphy’s voice came from behind the counter, “Bellamy, my man!” 

Before he knew what was going on, Bellamy was being wrapped into a hug, “I thought you hated me.” 

“Bygones, man. You weren’t thinking,” he said pulling away, “like I told Clarke, we are all allowed to be dicks a couple of times in our lives... At least you aren’t being a coward.” 

“Thanks, man,” he said, feeling relieved that he had somehow gotten Murphy’s friendship back, “I am sorry about what happened with the band if I could do things differently...” 

“But you can’t. All we can do is move on."

Thinking about that, Bellamy nodded. 

"So, Mr. Blake, what’ll it be?” 


	5. Track Five: This Strange Sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory really loves to talk...

Bellamy sat in the Café for a half hour before he saw Clarke and Rory walk in. Immediately, he noticed that Clarke was wearing a shimmering navy top, and dress pants. She had on some classy heels, and she was wearing a light amount of makeup. Bellamy tried not to feel the warmth that was creeping into his chest just looking at her. 

Looking down he saw a small girl, about five or six years old, marching through the crowd. She was just as he remembered her, the same dark hair he had, but he now realized her curls were a lot more like waves (maybe her hair grew out), and she had fewer freckles than he did. Her skin was slightly lighter- but she wore the Blake War Face, that he and his sister had inherited. As soon as she saw him, she tore through the café. Making it to the table, she paused as if realizing he was, indeed, a stranger. With a shy look, she handed him a piece of paper. 

“Here you go,” she said, with a wide grin spreading across her face. 

“What’s this?” Bellamy asked, looking at the paper he saw that it said “Rory Blake Grifin” with the uppercase “R” backward, “did you write that?” 

Rory gave him an enthusiastic nod. 

“I’m sorry we’re late, Bellamy,” Clarke said, catching up, “When I told her who we were going to see, she insisted on making that before we left.” 

Standing up, Bellamy pulled Clarke into a hug, “It’s perfect,” he said. 

As he pulled away, he noticed a blush on her face that was definitely not makeup. 

“I made it because I don’t want him to forget my name,” Rory mumbled, hopping onto the seat. Her explanation melted Bellamy’s heart. She was so adorable. Grabbing her backpack she pulled out crayons and blank paper. Before Bellamy even noticed that Clarke was gone, she was coming back with a hot chocolate for Rory. A minute later, Clarke returned with a latte for herself. 

“You can draw, too,” Rory offered, “if you want. I’m not as good as Mommy yet, but she said if I practice, I’ll get there.” 

“Your Mom is very, very skilled,” Bellamy praised, as Clarke just watched the two interact. She had a warm smile on her face and an expression in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place. 

“Mommy said you both made me,” Rory said matter-of-factly. Bellamy barely kept himself from spitting out his coffee, “She said you were best friends, and that you love each other.” 

“Sweetie, I said _loved_ ,” Clarke corrected, although she couldn’t meet Bellamy’s gaze. 

“Yeah, but you also said that once you love someone, you love them forever and you never stop loving them. That’s why you cry on grandpa’s birthday sometimes, and why you cried when you saw Da-” 

“Rory, please,” Clarke interrupted, her cheeks clearly flushed, “some moments are personal, and Bellamy probably doesn’t want to hear about it. So, let’s focus on you and him today, can we do that? 

“Fine,” Rory said, as she finished coloring in a Sun, “But, his name is Daddy. Okay?” 

At that moment, Both Clarke and Bellamy let out a chuckle. It was strange, Bellamy felt like he could cry just from her calling him Daddy... Instead he just patted Rory’s wavy hair while she smiled up at him. When he looked up at Clarke, her eyes were watering. 

“I-uh, I have to go to the bathroom,” She said, getting up, “Rory will you be okay with Daddy for a minute?” 

“Yeah, he’s smart, he can take care of me,” Rory said, turning to Clarke she whispered, “I’m sorry Mommy- I didn’t mean to tell your secrets.” 

“It’s okay, baby girl, you didn’t know... I’ll be right back,” and with a small peck on the cheek, Clarke walked toward the bathrooms. 

“Mommy gets sad sometimes,” Rory said as soon as Clarke was gone, “I think she needs a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend.” 

At that, Bellamy let out a laugh, “you think so?” 

“Yeah. I asked her if you two were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend again... She said no because you love someone else now,” Rory switched out her crayons, “but that’s okay because six years is a long time. At least that's what Mommy said.” 

It shouldn’t have been a punch in the gut, but it was. Did Clarke really think that Bellamy had ever stopped loving her- as if that were possible? 

“You know, you’re really smart Rory.” 

“Thank you! I know the alphabet and a lot of numbers. I can also add, subtract and read some books. Mommy taught me a lot really early.” 

“Oh yeah? What’s your favorite thing to learn about?” 

“Spanish!” 

“Really?” Bellamy asked, surprised, “can you speak Spanish?” 

“un poco,” Rory said, “a little bit.” 

As Rory proceeded to name all the colors of the crayons in Spanish, Bellamy found himself staring at her with a full heart. Suddenly it was as if a missing piece of him slid into place. She was his daughter. He and Clarke made her...

It was a curious thing, he just met her, but there is no way he could now live in a world without her... 

* * *

When Clarke got back to the table, Rory was showing Bellamy how to write her name. When he reminded her about the second “f” she quickly corrected it. For weeks, Rory had insisted that Griffin only had one... It was good to see she liked Bellamy. As she sat back down, he just stared at her. She could swear that the man saw right through her- and Rory must’ve made her seem like more of a basket case than she was. 

Yet, he looked at her with soft eyes and a loving expression. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, and Clarke nodded. The last few weeks had been intense, and they were definitely catching up now. 

“I was thinking we could go to the park?” 

“Yeah, that would be great,” Bellamy said, smiling. 

“Then can we go pet the puppies?” Rory asked, “Dr. Raven is right by the park!” 

“If it’s okay with Mommy, then I would love to,” Bellamy said, as he smiled at Clarke. 

How was it possible for her to both feel joy and sorrow at the same time? 


	6. Track Six: Heavy Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy have a heart to heart.

“Mommy, look!” Rory yelled as she sat down and slid down the tallest slide. 

“Great job, baby girl!” Clarke yelled, smiling. Now that she had her sunglasses on and they were outside, she felt a lot more comfortable. Watching Bellamy and Rory together had been emotional, to say the least. But she mostly felt guilty for being the reason Bell missed out on almost six years of their daughter’s life. The mistake had always haunted her. 

“You’re really good at this,” his voice came from beside her, “and I’m glad she’s growing up in a small town. Away from paparazzi. Away from cameras.” 

“Don’t do that, Bellamy.” 

“Don’t do what?” 

“Don’t try to make me feel better- don't try to justify what I did,” she said, turning to him. 

“I won’t. But, I get to see the unintended bright sides, if I want to, Clarke.” 

“God, why are you always so nice?” she asked, laughing and shaking her head. 

“You know, it’s only when I’m around you, Griffin.” 

“Mommy! Daddy! Over here!!” Rory yelled, trying to get on the swing, “Help me, Daddy!” 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over hearing her call me that,” Bellamy said, his voice laden with pride. Tearing his eyes from Rory he looked down at Clarke and extended his hand to her, “C’mon, Mom, let’s go help our daughter out.” 

Taking his hand, and hearing his words shouldn’t have made Clarke’s heart skip a beat- yet, it did. 

* * *

“Is she asleep?” Clarke asked, as Bellamy slowly shut Rory’s door and walked out to the kitchen. 

“Yeah...” he smiled, “after four stories, a song, and asking a million questions.” 

When he joined her in the kitchen, Bellamy just stared at her as she did dishes. Had she always been this amazing of a mom? Was this what she did every day with Rory? Took her out for hot chocolate, went to the park, and went to Raven’s clinic to help with the animals? “You’ve done an amazing job, Clarke... Rory’s very happy and so, so smart.” 

“Mhmm...” she hummed, but Bellamy knew her well enough to be able to tell she was holding back tears. Walking over to her, he grabbed the towel and started drying the dishes. 

“You know, its novelty, you don’t have to be jealous or scared- I'm not going to take her from you,” he said. 

“I didn’t think you were, Bell. and I’m not jealous. I, uh... I feel guilty. And I have a lot of regrets,” she said, swallowing, “you’re an amazing Dad, you’re gonna be great.” 

She was hiding her face from him now, but he could see her tears falling into the dishwater. 

“I only have one day under my belt, Clarke. You have six years,” he said with a little chuckle. 

“And whose fault is that?” 

“What?” Now he was confused, “Clarke, what’s going on?” 

Pulling the plug on the water, Clarke dried her hands and then wiped her eyes with her sleeves, “Bellamy, why don’t you hate me? You should hate me, after what I did... after keeping her from you.” 

_Oh,_ that was it. Smiling at her, he hooked some stray hair behind her ear. 

“ _Mama bears don’t think..._ you were scared- I get it. But you’re doing the right thing now,” he said, as he tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn’t let him, “that’s what matters.” 

“Is it? Really?” she said, her head snapping up to reveal the tears streaming down her face. 

“Yes. It is. Look, Clarke, if you need forgiveness... I’ll give you that. You’re forgiven,” Bellamy said, taking her face in his hands, and wiping her tears with his thumbs, “Clarke, all that matters to me now are you and Rory, okay?” 

Immediately, her expression changed from one of guilt to one of confusion. Her eyes, still red from crying, traveled from his eyes to his lips, and then to his chest. It was as if she needed to have something other than his face to look at. Pulling her back to him, Bellamy placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head, “Rory told me to give you a kiss goodnight.” 

Letting out a little laugh, she wrapped her arms around his waist. It was all-too-easy, this. Being around her, holding her, seeing her with Rory. Leaving them to go to New York was going to pull him apart, he could tell now. 

“I’m a mess, Bell,” Clarke said softly, “I had everything together, and then you walked back into my life. and I- I can’t stop thinking about...” 

_Us._

It was unspoken, but he knew what hung in the silence. 

“I know,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. Breathing in the scent of her, Bellamy was transported back to those days... back when he told her that a mess was something he could work with. Back when they used to undress each other easily when they would get lost in one another. When they would wake up with their limbs tangled together... It was only four months- but those four months had changed his entire life. 

“I still love you, Clarke,” the voice was his- but it was like the words were uttered against his will... They were true, yes- but not what the smart part of him would say right now, “I’m not saying I’m going to act on that or anything. But I do love you... and I don’t think that will ever change.” 

Without a word, Clarke separated herself from him and turned around. Fighting the urge to grab her hand, he let her walk away. With her hand on the door to her room she spoke, “There’s bedding on the couch if you want to sleep there... I’ll take you home tomorrow.” 

“Clarke, I-” 

“Please, don’t make this any more confusing for me, Bellamy,” she said, sniffling, “you should take that.” 

“What?” 

Just then, Bellamy realized his phone had been vibrating, when he pulled it out, he saw the name on the display. 

“Fuck, Echo,” he whispered, looking up, Clarke was already gone. Chewing his lip, he sent his phone to voicemail. 

Laying down on the couch, he thought about how confused he felt. Telling Clarke that he loved her... that he would never stop loving her. Confusing Clarke, that was a douchebag move. Stringing Echo along, that was a mega-douchebag move. None of this was fair to either of them. The truth was, regardless of how he felt about Clarke, it wasn’t good to pull Echo into this. Not with Rory being so young and impressionable. She just got her father in her life, it would be too confusing for her to have a new stepmom, too. 

And if Bellamy was being honest, he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to stay faithful to Echo. He already was being emotionally unfaithful, wasn’t he? Turning, his phone vibrated again. 

**_Echo:_ ** _hey you’re probably asleep by now... but I wanted to let you know that People Magazine has a blurb about us in the gossip section. I know Arkadia’s small... but you might_ _wanna_ _lay low for a few days.”_

**_Bellamy:_ ** _What’s the blurb?_

**_Echo:_ ** _Check twitter. I miss you, babe. When are you coming home?_

**_Bellamy:_ ** _um. I’ll be back in NYC next week. I have a party to attend here first. We have a lot to talk about._

**_Echo:_ ** _I bet. I found a ring I like, by the way... here’s a pic._

**_Bellamy:_ ** _It’s cool. I_ _gotta_ _sleep. Night._

Opening up Twitter, Bellamy found himself tagged in several posts... There was a photo of him and Miller walking out of the Jewelry store on one side, and him and Echo at a reward show last year on the other.

The headline read " _BECHO: ENGAGED?!"_

One of the responses was from EchoStarkStan24, it had a photo of him, Clarke and Rory at the park this morning- he and Clarke were walking over to Rory on the swing, and holding hands. The caption read: “Hmm... What about his secret family? Echo, drop him!” 

Just then, a text from Miller came in: 

**_Miller:_ ** _Did you see twitter? A secret_ _family_ _, Bellamy? Wtf? We have to get ahead of this,_ _NOW!_

_Well fuck, who was the mess now?_


	7. Track Seven: Early Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a rather racy memory of her and Bellamy... I may switch this Fic to E... Keep in mind, smut has been tagged the whole time.

The next morning, Clarke woke up and went to the kitchen to make coffee. It was still rather dark. Clarke was careful not to be too loud since Bellamy was still on the couch. She found herself wondering if he had gotten any good sleep at all. It had been an emotional day for her, and she felt bad for putting him through that. 

Somehow, the scent of coffee and the knowledge of Bellamy being there... knowing that he still loved her... it brought back memories from years ago...

_“hmmm, coffee and breakfast- you're spoiling me, Griffin,” Bellamy said, wrapping his arms around her from behind, “we’ll have to make sure to wash all our dishes and put them away so that your mom doesn’t figure out that we defiled her house.”_

_“haha, we haven’t defiled her whole house,” Clarke said, turning around and holding onto the counter, “If I remember correctly, it was just my bedroom... and the shower.”_

_“Well, we can change that, can’t we?” He said, his eyebrows raised, and a devilish grin spreading across his face. Without another word, he kissed her until she was breathless. Working his lips down her neck, he tugged at her shirt until she lifted her arms, and let him pull it off of her. Again, he worked his way down her body, until her panties were on the ground, and he was nosing at her center. With one more grin, his hands skimmed over her legs, to her thighs and opened her up. licking his lips, he checked once more with her before digging in-_

“Clarke?” Clarke jumped when Bellamy’s voice startled her. Turning around, he was so close to her. Breathing heavily, she tried to control her reaction to the memory she had just been thinking about. Biting her lip, she realized his chest was almost touching her... if she really wanted to, she could just pull him over to her... and wrap her legs around him... 

“Clarke... _Earth to Clarke?_ ” 

“Um, sorry..." she said, maneuvering around him, and opening the fridge in a feeble attempt to cool herself off. 

“I, uh, wanted to tell you that I have to head to New York today... I have to talk to Echo,” he said, running his hand through his hair. Taking him in, Clarke realized that he looked ragged as if he hadn’t slept all night. 

“What’s wrong?”

“uh, some stuff in the press... I should probably warn you. It’s so stupid though.” 

“Bellamy, what is it?” 

“Clarke, I am begging you, please do not go on twitter, or facebook, or even news sites, okay?” 

“Okay?” handing over his phone, she saw a screen cap of two Twitter posts. One said, _“BECHO: ENGAGED?”_ The other said, _“BELL'S SECRET FAMILY!_ ” “Oh my god, Bellamy, that’s Rory!” 

“I know, I’m so sorry. I have no idea who took it," he said, in earnest, "If I had seen it, I would have smashed the camera, I swear.” 

“Are you and Echo... are you, engaged?” 

“Clarke, I-” 

“Mommy?” 

Turning, Clarke saw her daughter rubbing her eyes, “Is it time to get ready for school?” 

“Uh, honey, I don’t think you’re going to school today,” she said, “I think Mommy and Daddy need to have a talk about something. Can you go back to bed please?” 

“Okay. Can I have a hug?” 

“Of course, baby, come here,” Clarke said, opening her arms. At that, Rory ran to her and hugged her. After giving her a kiss on the cheek she turned to Bellamy and held out her arms. With a smile, Bellamy held out his. 

Holding her tight, Bellamy closed his eyes, and Clarke could see a couple of tears fall down his face. She faintly heard Rory whisper, “I love you, Daddy.” to which he responded, “I love you, too, kiddo.” 

“Now go get some more sleep, okay?” he said, setting her down, and she ran back to her room. 

“Clarke, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-” 

“It’s not your fault, Bellamy. It’s part of being famous, I guess," she said, trying not to lose her cool, "But I am going to call the school and talk to them before Rory goes back. I don’t want this changing her social life or anything."

"Honestly," Clarke bit her lip, “I’m more worried about your relationship with Echo. And god, I’m gonna get death threats now, won't I?” 

“Clarke, I admit you should probably delete all your social media, or at least make it private,” he said, “and don’t read _any_ gossip sites, please?” 

With a nod, she went back to the coffee machine and poured herself a cup, “you want some?” 

“Uh, yeah, thanks,” as she grabbed a second cup, Clarke could hear Bellamy swallow. 

“I think I’m going to move to Arkadia,” he said, leaning against the counter, “I don’t know what I’m going to do about Echo. But I’m gonna move out of the apartment in New York, pay off my half, and move back here.” 

“uh, that’s a big decision, Bellamy.” 

“But not a difficult one,” he said, giving her a long look, “I can renovate my mom’s house and make a studio space. I can help you with Rory. The only time I’ll ever be away is when I tour.” 

“Wow, you’ve thought all this through.” 

“I’ll be back by her birthday, okay?” He said, adding a ton of cream to his coffee, he drank it fast and set the mug down. With another look, he went to the living room and grabbed his jacket, "I'll call O and she'll come to get me." 

“Wait you aren’t leaving now, are you?” she said, following him into the living room. 

“Yeah, I told you, I have to go to New York.” 

“Hold your horses, Blake,” Clarke said, attempting to grab his jacket, “I’m making your famous ass some waffles and you are going to eat breakfast with your daughter before you go and uproot your life, you got that?” 

Suddenly, his expression went from one of surprise to one of devilish intrigue. 

“Clarke, you know I like it when you’re bossy,” he said, tilting his face and smirking. God, that was definitely his flirt face. If Clarke were smart, she would let go and go make the waffles right now. Instead, she pulled at the jacket a little. When he pulled back, she scoffed in mock-indignation. Before she could pull again, he had pulled her into his arms. 

Breathing hard, she looked up at Bellamy, while he gazed down at her. She watched him work his jaw and then, he lowered his lips. Before they could meet, she pushed his chest back, “Bell, please, I- I care for you, but I’m not going to be the other woman- I just won't.” 

“Yeah, that was stupid of me," he said, letting her go, and rubbing his forehead, "I’m sorry, Clarke." 

Stepping away, she smiled, "you are still welcome to stay for breakfast, though." 

"Okay," he smiled, "thanks." 

"Anytime," she said, willing herself to not change her mind. 


	8. Track Eight: Breaking Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a conversation with her mom, and Bellamy goes back to New York and talks to Echo...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind, I am Becho neutral or even at times pro becho in canon. I even like Echo as a character in canon. 
> 
> The Echo in this Fanfic is completely made up. So please hate her, but don't think I think she's actually like this in the show.

“This is _not_ a good idea,” Miller said, running after Bellamy, as he rushed through the crowds in LaGuardia, “Bellamy- breaking up with Echo right when you suddenly discover a love-child, this going to make it look like you cheated on her!” 

“But I didn’t.” 

“It doesn’t matter. Echo's more popular than you, she’ll go all Taylor Swift on you and write songs about you... aren’t you afraid of that?” 

“Miller, I don’t care! Okay?” Bellamy said, looking at him, “are you going to still be my publicist if I do this? Or are you going to quit? Because if I have to choose between you being my publicist or my friend, I pick my friend, Miller.” 

“You know I’m loyal... Even if I think you're shooting yourself in the foot.” 

“Well, thank you,” Bellamy said, opening the car door, “and as far as her writing songs about me, as long as the music is good, I don’t care.” 

* * *

“Hey!” Clarke said as she opened the door to her mom. 

“Is everything okay? Usually, I watch Rory at my house...” Abby said, looking around. 

“Yeah, Rory won’t be leaving the house today.” 

“What? Why?” she asked, clearly concerned. 

“Because of this... Emori was kind enough to buy all of the copies at the Gas n’ Go... and Raven hit up the Grocery Store,” Clarke said sliding over The National Inquirer, “I know its garbage... but Rory's in the picture, and I just didn’t feel right having it out there.” 

“Oh my god... _The Secret Blake has Been Keeping All Along_?” she said, clearly in disgust, “Uh, Clarke- why is Bellamy holding your hand in this?” 

“It wasn’t romantic, I swear.” 

“Well, was it not-romantic?” 

“I don’t know. But nothing officially happened between us. And it won’t because he’s engaged.” 

“You have to be kidding me?” 

“Nope,” she said, “he said he’s going to move here. Even though I don’t know what that means for him and Echo, but...” 

“But what, Clarke?” 

“He told me he loves me.” 

“I’m not surprised by that,” Abby said, pulling off her jacket and gloves and putting them on the chair, “when I took that box over to him, he thanked me for keeping an eye both you and Rory. Clarke, the man is crazy for you, he always has been.” 

Looking down at the papers Clarke shook her head, “but I don’t know... I don’t think I can do this- be a part of this gossip. Seeing my face and my daughters face put out there- like we’re some reality tv. It’s so violating.” 

“I know, I know... but imagine, he’s been dealing with this for what, four or five years?” 

“Really just three... he wasn’t in the news until he started seeing Echo,” Clarke blushed at the realization that she could only know that if she had been following his career. 

“You _have_ kept up with him?” 

“A little. I mean, he’s Rory father...” Clarke said, twisting her fingers together. 

“And the man that you love, right?” Abby said, trying to make eye contact with her daughter. After a loaded pause, Clarke cracked. 

“Okay, fine!” she said, “I love him, okay? I’ve always loved him, I’ve never stopped, and I don’t know if I ever will! There you go, is that what you wanted?” 

“Well that, and coffee?” her mom said, smirking and clearly proud of herself, "if you wouldn't mind." 

“Fine- but only because you gave birth to me!” 

* * *

Bellamy knocked three times before he finally inserted his key and walked into the flat.

“Echo?” he yelled, almost hoping he wouldn't actually have to see her. 

“Hey, babe!” she called from the living room. When he entered, he found her in her pajamas, watching The Bachelor, “How was your flight?” 

“Good... um, did you see the stuff on Twitter?” he felt so stupid even having to ask. 

“Of course! You know we’ve never gotten more tags and retweets in our entire careers! People are going insane for some Becho drama.” 

“What?” 

“The kid, the ex- its golden, babe... seriously,” she said, finally pausing her show, “and just in time for the album release- I knew McCreary would get something good while you were there!” 

“Wait, what?” 

“McCreary. I told him you were in Arkadia... I didn’t know that Clarke still lived there. But, hey... nothing like a little love-child to spice up your career. As they say, any press is good press.” 

“What? You put him up to this?” Bellamy seethed, “you know, _my daughter_ couldn’t even go to school today because her face is in the papers and all over the internet?” 

“Well, now everyone knows her Daddy’s famous, what’s the big deal?” Echo asked, sinking back on the couch, “buy her something really nice for her birthday, cut Clarke a check for being an absentee father for the last six years and call it a day.” 

“I’m not doing any of that, Echo,” Bellamy said, getting up and going to the bedroom. Pulling out his suitcase, he started to pack. 

“What, why not? The only way we are going to pull this off is if we make the press love Rory. I mean, can’t you see it?” apparently, Echo had followed him to the room, “She is so cute, she will definitely get cast in movies. I’m sure they could use the money- I mean, aren't they poor? You could even do a daddy-daughter film- people eat that shit up!” 

“I’m not using my daughter for fame!” Bellamy said, “I really thought you were a better person than that.” 

“Well, I mean, I was pissed at first. But then I talked to Roan and he and I agreed that if I didn’t want to break up with you- which less face it, would be bad for my career- then this was what was best. We shine the light on what an amazing father you are, show everyone how cute Rory is... and our careers get some longevity out of this whole situation.” 

“That's disgusting, Echo. I’m not doing that to my daughter- or to Clarke.” 

“Oh, right, because then Clarke would be the victim? Clarke who broke your heart? Clarke who suddenly left you... Clarke who probably kept Rory a secret from you?” 

“It’s more complicated than that!” he yelled, fuming now.

“Why? Because you _loved_ her? God, Bellamy get over it!” Echo yelled, walking away. When Bellamy finished packing up all the essentials, he took his suitcase to the door. Before he could leave, Echo piped up again, “When will you be back, babe?” 

“I won’t,” he said, “The check for my half of everything is on the bed. Miller said he’d send the rest of my stuff tomorrow. Unless you wanna throw it out a window- you know, "get some press out of it".” 

As he closed the door behind him, he heard the first glass of the night break, followed by Echo yelling "Fuck you, Blake!" 

* * *

“So, you broke up with Echo?” O said, clearly exasperated, “As sorry as I am about your love life... who the hell is going to be in my wedding? There are three groomsmen, and there need to be three bridesmaids. I still have Raven, and Harper... should I ask _Gina_? Heaven knows you don’t want her to be your date!” 

Rolling his eyes, Bellamy could only agree. In fact, there was only one woman he wanted to walk down the aisle with at this point... Even if was for his sister’s wedding and not his own. 

“You could ask Clarke?” Bellamy offered, “I mean if you’re okay with her being in your life again. I mean, she was there the night you and Lincoln met. It’s kinda sweet actually, you both fell in love on the same night.” 

“Whoa. Wait... _what?_ ” 

_Fuck-_ O still didn’t know about that. 

“Uh, Clarke and I... We sorta hooked up that night,” he said, feeling a little embarrassed. 

“Oh, wow, that’s hilarious! Okay, I’m going to ask her... just so I can see her face every single time I mention those panties I found,” O said, laughing hysterically. 

“You’re evil.” 

“Not as evil as Echo, apparently,” she said, sighing, “and for the record, I do support you breaking up with her. I haven't met her yet, but Rory is my niece, and that’s just not cool.” 

“Thanks, sis, how about I introduce you two when I get back?” he said yawning, “for now, I gotta hit the hay.” 

“Sounds good, big brother. I know you just suffered a breakup, but don’t go too hard on the mini bar.” 

Taking stock of his emotions, Bellamy smiled and said, “Somehow, I don’t think I’ll have a problem.” 


	9. Track Nine: The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy receives a letter. and the Griffin-Blake Family bond over phone conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I'm sorry that I posted this and then took it down. I ran out of my ADHD meds, and well, my writing gets a little weird when that happens. So, after editing it and making sure it made sense I'm reposting! 
> 
> Anyway, to everyone who has been reading, you've been awesome! I live for your comments and whatnot, and I am excited about where this story is going! Please bear with me, as the plot moves along! Keep in mind, it's a slow burn, but there will be lots feels along the way. 
> 
> Also, I don't do horribly slow slow-burns (because I have ADHD and am HELLA impatient), so know that we will get there soon!

After hanging up the phone, Bellamy unpacked a few of his things. In his haste to leave, he had thrown all of his mail into his suitcase. Pulling some clothing out, he noticed a package sticking out. He found it odd that it had Arkadia on the return address, but he did recognize the handwriting- it was his mother’s. The package was dated for the day before his mother died. Inside of it was a book and a letter. Sitting down on the bed, Bellamy carefully opened the letter. 

_My sweet Bellamy,_

_Have I ever told you that the day I found out I was pregnant with you was the most monumental day of my life? Yes, meeting your father was great, marrying him was wonderful, and having your sister was a blessing, too. But the day I found out I was having you changed my life entirely._

_You see, I suffered from depression for a long time, and I felt as if I had no purpose. Your father, he tried to be there for me, but I was going down a path of self-destruction. I had turned to alcohol and drugs for a bit. Your father begged me to stop, he threatened through tears to leave me._

_I didn’t care, I was numb._

_Then, he did leave._

_And I considered taking my own life... after all, what was the point of living if I felt nothing?_

_It was in the ER that they told me I was pregnant. They said I was about twelve weeks along, they told me I could turn it around. I went to rehab; I did what I needed to do to get clean._

_I did it for you, Bell._

_You woke me up, you saved my life- and you weren’t even born yet. When your father found out about you, he came to me. We agreed to try and make things work. And we did. We even had Octavia a few years after you were born. We were so happy- and I loved you both so, so much._

_I know that things were tough after your father died, but you helped me. You gave me the strength to move forward. You were strong, and you helped me be strong. Bellamy, you are so strong and so very loving. You have the ability to give people hope and that is amazing._ You truly are guided by your heart- and that can be a wonderful thing. 

_But I know that somewhere out in the world is your soulmate. Someone who will compliment and complete you. If you’re the heart, that person will be the head, I suppose._

_I hope you find her (or him- I'm an open-minded person, after all) and I hope you shower them with all your love. Live every day holding those you love close. Please, don’t cut yourself off out of grief, okay? I know you try to protect yourself, but love is a good thing- and I want your life to be full of it. But I know you can’t have love without pain. It’s just how the world works._

_I know you’ve been afraid and that is why you haven’t been here to see me. I understand Bellamy. As much as I want to see you, I know that you will be okay- and I just hope that this experience will wake you up, so that you don’t avoid those you love any longer._

_I forgive you for not coming to see me. I am so proud of you and I love you more than you could ever know. Thank you for being my son._

_In peace_ _, may you leave this shore,_

_In love, may you find the next s_ _afe passage on your travels,_

_Until your final breath releases y_ _our spirit to Heaven's embrace._

_May we meet again._

_With all my love,_

_Momma_

Bellamy felt his chest ache from the words on the page. The letter was now stained with tears, and he couldn't help but long for the feel of his mother’s embrace or the kiss on the cheek she would give him. He read and reread the letter until he was too emotionally exhausted to continue. After he stopped crying, he laid in bed unable to sleep, his mother's advice echoing in his mind.   


* * *

_It was stupid- and Clarke knew it was stupid._

Bellamy never said he’d call or text her while he was gone, and he certainly wasn’t obligated to... Yet, a part of her itched to text him and just ask how his day had played out. But she didn't want to be overbearing. However, he _did_ say he loved her and didn't that give one “Texting Rights”? 

_Ugh._

_Stupid, stupid feelings._

Just as she began to spiral, her phone buzzed. In a hurry, she answered. 

“Hey,” she said, playing it cool, “how’s New York?” 

“Um... enlightening. I couldn’t sleep without checking up on you and Rory,” he said, giving a little chuckle at the end, yet he sounded emotionally strained, “How was your day?” 

If she’s being honest, his concern for both her and Rory made her stomach flip. 

“Good, good. Raven and Emori helped me buy all of the Inquirers. Thanks for spotting that at the airport.” 

“No problem. You should have seen the guys face when I bought the entire stack and had him shred them,” Bellamy laughed, “I know it’s not nearly enough of them, but it felt oddly satisfying.” 

“Tell me about it,” Clarke said, “I gave them to my mom for her fireplace.” 

The silence between them was mildly torturous- she wanted to talk to him about everything... 

“How did things go with Echo?” 

“Uh, yeah. Echo... Well, turns out she isn’t the person I thought she was,” he said, sounding a little disappointed, but not entirely heartbroken, “I broke up with her.” 

“Oh, wow... Bell, I’m so sorry, you must be reeling.” 

“Not from that. She said some pretty selfish things about you and Rory. I have more important things in my life now, I can’t be concerned with fame and image. Echo's just stuck in that life, you know what I mean?” 

“I can imagine,” Clarke said, trying to grasp the situation, “I would think that fame is an unnecessary burden.” 

“Ah, you speak the truth, wise Griffin.” 

It was amazing how they could slip back into the easy-going friendship they had before. 

“Did Rory do anything cute today?” he asked, clearly eager to know how his daughter was doing. 

_“Um, everything she does is cute, Bell_ _,”_ Clarke quipped, as she grabbed a bottle of white wine out of the fridge. 

“Oh, yes. Like mother, like daughter...” 

_“Are you flirting, Blake_ _?”_ She teased, grabbing her wine and sitting down on the couch. 

“Hmm... Caught me red-handed, Clarke,” she could practically hear the smile in his voice, “You know, I forgot how good your voice sounds over the phone...” 

“Did you now?” 

“Yeah,” he said, “is it weird that I already miss you both?” 

“I don’t think so; Rory was asking for you earlier. She wanted to make sure you would be back in time for her Birthday party. She wants all of her friends to meet her Daddy. She definitely misses you,” Clarke confessed, keeping her own feelings close to the vest. 

“Aw that’s cute,” Bellamy hummed, “what about you, Clarke?” 

“What about me?” 

“Do you miss me?” 

“Yes,” she admitted softly, picking at the knitted blanket she had thrown over herself, “I miss you more than I thought I would, considering we haven’t spent that much time together.” 

“Isn’t it weird how you can be away from someone for so long, and yet your relationship- the feelings and the ability to read one another... they just don’t really change much?” Bellamy asked, his voice beginning to sound a bit rough. 

“Yeah, I think it’s amazing.” 

“Yeah.” 

Clarke knew that there was so much more on Bellamy's mind than what was being said. She decided, for now, not to open that can of worms. Instead, she finished her wine and laid back. 

“Hey, Bell?" 

"Yeah, Clarke?" 

"Tell me about your day?” 

“Of course,” he sighed, as if in relief. He talked until Clarke nodded off. The last thing she heard before the phone went dead was Bellamy whispering that he loves her and Rory, _“_ _more than anything.”_

The next day Bellamy called again, this time at two in the afternoon- while Rory was still in school. 

“I have to get her a birthday present!” He yelled, the panic in his voice evident, “what does she like?” 

“First of all- Ow! My ear! Second, Bellamy, she’s turning six- you have a sister, what did Octavia want when she was six-years-old?” 

After giving the question some thought, he piped up, “Do you have anywhere you can keep a pony?” 

“No! No, Bellamy, you are _not_ getting our daughter a pony!” 

Oh, great- everyone in the grocery store was now staring at her. 

“I was joking... Actually, I was thinking about an iPad? So that we can facetime when I’m gone?” 

Clarke laughed, and walked fast to another aisle, “Well, make sure it has a lot of educational games on it, and we’re good.” 

“Alright, thanks,” he chuckled, “I’ll talk to you tonight, Clarke. Love you.” 

Before she could register what he just said, he’s already hung up... For the rest of the day, she had a stupid silly grin on her face- and felt stupid silly butterflies when she thought of him. 

* * *

“And then, John Jr yelled from the top of his lungs and jumped off the monkey bars, and all the birds flew away real fast!” Rory yelled over the phone. 

“Wow, was it scary?” 

“No way! It was so cool!” Rory said as if she had seen something miraculous happen, “Daddy, wanna know a secret?” 

“Of course, Rory,” Bellamy said, smiling to himself. 

“Mommy’s been smiling a lot today, and she bought a pretty dress.” 

“Is that so?” 

"Yup," Rory said, not offering anything else on the subject, “Daddy?” 

“Yeah, Rory?” 

“Will you be home tomorrow? Its only two days until my birthday... so you have to get here tomorrow!” 

“hmmm... I think I’ll be back in time.” 

“Really? Promise?” 

“I think so,” he said trying to sound sly, "hmm... I might even be at the door..."

Just then Bellamy knocked on the door and he could hear Rory yelling as she ran to the door. He could also hear Clarke trying to control her. When Clarke opened the door, he saw that she was dressed in simple clothes and an apron, it was clear she had been baking. Blowing a little bit of hair out of her face, she gave Bellamy a smile, “Well, isn’t this a happy surprise?” she said, letting Rory run to him. 

As soon as Bellamy was inside, he made sure to kiss both Rory and Clarke on the cheek, taking immense satisfaction in the way Clarke blushed. Bellamy had decided last night that he wasn’t going to hide how he felt- he wasn’t going to beat around the bush. 


	10. Track Ten: Fun and Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke thinks back on the day Rory was born. 
> 
> They have her birthday party, and then a moment in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you like this next chapter!!
> 
> It's quite fluffy... and Rory is super adorable!

**_March 25th, 2013_ **

_“She’s beautiful, Clarke...” Abby said, smiling down at the tiny infant in her daughter’s hands, “you have to tell him...”_

_“I told you, Mom, Bellamy isn’t-”_

_“Please, sweetie,_ _don’t lie to me again. You’ve only lied to me a handful of times- and you aren’t very good at it.”_

_Clarke looked up at her mom and began to cry. She was right, of course. The little bundle of joy in her arms was indeed Bellamy’s child. But how could she tell him now? She had left him, abandoned him... and to call him suddenly with a child... how would he feel about that?_

_“Sweetie, it’s the right thing to do... He might be angry, but once he meets her... He’ll get over it.”_

_“Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”_

_“With the way he loves you?_ _I have_ _faith that he_ _will- even if you’ll never forgive yourself.”_

_As Clarke bit her lip, she stared down at her child. She had no idea what to name her, she wished she could ask Bellamy about it, “Mom, what do you think I should name her?”_

_“Well, you could name her Lorelai, after grandma Griffin,” she said, “Or you could name her Aurora, like Bellamy’s mom.”_

_“Hmm...” Clarke thought about it for a minute, “wait... isn’t Rory short for Lorelai? Or is that just a weird Gilmore Girls thing?”_

_Her mom chuckled at that but shook her head, “I have no idea, honey. But I like it, it’s a good way to pay homage to both sides of her family, with Rory being short for Aurora.”_

_“Yeah, I like it... Rory Blake Griffin, what do you think?”_

_“I think she’s perfect,” her mom said, scooping the child out of Clarke’s arms, “now, I think it’s time for momma to rest, right Rory? Is grandma Abby going to start spoiling you already? I think so! Yes, I do!”_

_Clarke laughed as she watched her mom make faces at Rory, and walk out of the room. Once she was all alone, she pulled the phone off_ _the port and dialed out_ _. The phone rang three times, and then she heard his voice, “Hello?”_

_“Bellamy?”_

_“Clarke- is that you?_ _” he sounded breathless, in disbelief,_ _“_ _Why are you calling from the hospital? Are you okay?”_

_“Um... yeah, I’m fine. I uh, I have to tell you something.”_

_“Okay...” he said wearily,_ _“what is it?”_

_As Clarke sat there, begging for the courage to tell him, he began to call her name,_ _“Clarke? Clarke?”_

_“Never mind_ _. I- uh. I have to go. Bye, Bellamy.”_

_“Clarke,_ _wait!_ _Don’t-_ _”_

_She hung up and set the phone back down._ _She stared at the phone a_ _s she began to_ _shake with sobs._ _Before it could ring again, she pulled_ _the_ _phone off the base and turned it off entirely._

 _She couldn’t tell him... she just couldn’t._

* * *

_“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Rory and John Jr! Happy Birthday to you!”_

Bellamy smiled, as Clarke and Murphy divided the cake out amongst the children, and then the adults. As soon as everyone was digging in and enjoying themselves, Bellamy joined Clarke by the coolers. 

“So, do they share a party every year?” 

“Pretty much. John Jr. Is like a brother to Rory. He’s definitely her best friend,” Clarke said smiling, “Are you having fun?” 

“Yeah,” Bellamy said, nodding, “six-year-olds are hyper though!” 

“Right? It’s a lot of running around, isn’t it?” 

“Yes, it is!” Bellamy laughed, “Maybe I’ll lose my little gut I got from when I broke my leg.” 

“Hmm...” Clarke said, raking her eyes over the man, “I think you look fine.” 

If she were being completely honest, she could think of much better ways for him to exercise that gut away... but that wasn’t an appropriate discussion to have now. Judging by the way he was blushing and looking at her though, he had something similar in mind. 

“So, I was thinking...” he said, smiling shyly, “maybe I could take you out sometime?” 

“hmmm... are you asking me out on a date, Bellamy?” Clarke asked playfully. 

“Only if you say yes,” he said, smirking. 

“Well, we already have a kid together...” she said, laughing, “So, I guess no pressure, right?” 

“I guess,” he said, smiling. 

“Daddy! I need you!” Rory yelled, coming out of nowhere, and wrapping her hands around Bellamy’s. 

“Looks like the little munchkin calls- don't forget to give me an answer, okay?” 

“Fine. I’ll let you know!” Clarke yelled as Bellamy was being pulled away by Rory. 

“Cute kid,” a voice came from behind Clarke- one that she knew too well, “she looks just like my brother.” 

“Yup,” Clarke said, blushing. She was definitely not prepared to face Octavia. Steeling herself, she tried to make sure she was invincible. 

“Relax, I’m not going to yell at you... Like Bell said, you did the right thing... in the end,” she said standing next to her, and turning toward Clarke, “he’s isn’t punishing you, so I won’t either.” 

“Oh,” Clarke exhaled, “Thanks.” 

“I do have one catch though...” 

“What?” 

“I need you to be in my wedding,” she said, not leaving any option, “Echo was supposed to be my maid of honor and Bellamy’s date. I need you to take over that- well at least to be a bride’s maid. The Maid of Honor is whatever.” 

Clarke stared at Octavia in disbelief, “Oh, okay...” 

“Of course, Rory is invited, too. And Bellamy said he could switch his hotel room to a double so no issue there.” 

“Okay, I’ll do it.” 

“Good... Wedding’s in three weeks,” Octavia said, turning toward the party before she thought better of it, “Here’s my new cell number- call me and we’ll work out your dress fitting. Oh, and Clarke?” 

“Yeah?” Clarke said, staring at the business card. 

“Don’t break my brother’s heart again, okay? He wasn’t the same after you... and I don’t know if he’d survive it again.” 

Struck speechless, Clarke nodded. As Octavia walked over to Bellamy, Clarke watched him introduce her to Rory, who was elated about suddenly having an aunt. As soon as Rory hugged her, Octavia was all softness and smiles. As Clarke stared at the pair talking, Clarke’s eyes flitted up to meet Bellamy’s who smiling proudly at her. She knew then that she could never hurt him again. 

“Who would have thought, Bellamy makes a hot dad,” Raven said, pulling a beer out of the cooler, “You better snatch that up, before some divorcee gets her hands on him.” 

“Shut up, Raven,” Murphy countered while joining them, “We all know that Bellamy only has eyes for Clarke- I think he made that clear when Roma tried to chat him up, and he kept on talking about how cute Clarke’s café was... and her house... and Clarke, Clarke, Clarke...” Murphy said, making a talking mouth with his hands. 

“Hey, he just didn’t come here to get hit on, okay?” Clarke said, shoving Murphy lightly. 

“Or he came here to hit on his baby mama,” another voice came from behind them. 

“Oh my god! Shaw!” Clarke laughed and hugged the man, “Raven didn’t say you were back, how was your tour?” 

“Fine, you know...” he said, receiving the beer that Murphy threw at him, “Same old. Piloting helicopters, airplanes, drones- blah, blah... if I tell ya, I gotta kill ya... and it’s not worth dying over. Trust me.” 

“Yeah, I pick not knowing,” Clarke said, smiling. As she watched Bellamy and the kids play, Rory came over and grabbed her, too, and then John Jr came over for Murphy. Soon, the entire group was running away from Rory and John Jr. while playing Freeze Tag. When Clarke got frozen, Bellamy unfroze her by smacking her butt. 

“Um, excuse me?!” she yelled in shock, which Rory took as another opportunity to freeze her mom again. Standing there with her arms folded, Bellamy just ran past her again, smacking her butt lightly and then waving his hands in innocence as he ran away, “Sorry, not sure what came over me, Clarke!” 

Oh, that was it. She’d have to get him back later. 

After the party was over, and the kids were all tuckered out, the families went their separate ways. Everyone was very nice to Bellamy and let him know that they loved seeing him. Much to Clarke’s surprise, he told everyone that he had moved back and that he would see them around. Once they got home, Clarke watched as Bellamy put Rory to bed, and then he helped her unpack the stuff from the party. 

As Bellamy was putting leftovers away, Clarke took that as her chance. Grabbing the kitchen towel, Clarke wound it up and unleashed it like a whip on his ass. Clarke watched as his entire body stilled, and she tried not to laugh. After a moment, he looked back at her, and then looked down, “Oh,” he said, moving slightly, “It’s on.” 

When he turned back around, he had a can of Rediwhip in his hand and was shaking it rather menacingly. As he slowly walked toward her, Clarke started to laugh and retreat, “Bellamy... what are you going to do?” 

“Oh, nothing...” he said, pointing the nozzle at his finger and pouring some of the Rediwhip on it, “I think I’ll just make a little mess...” 

With the whipped cream on his finger, Bellamy walked closer and closer to Clarke until she was stuck against the kitchen counter. 

“Bellamy, no!” Clarke giggled. As she weakly fended off his whipped-creamed finger. As she struggled, she realized he was aiming for her nose. Before he could reach it though, she opened her mouth and took his finger in it- licking the cream off before letting him go. Immediately, he stilled over her, and his smile vanished- instead, he began to work his jaw. 

Clarke knew that look well... oh yes, he was turned on. As Bellamy’s eyes darkened, he looked at her lips, and she couldn’t help but open herself up to him. While he stood so close to her, his scent and body heat were intoxicating. Taking a chance, she straightened up and brushed her nose against his. Immediately his breath rushed out against her lips. 

“Clarke?” he whispered, as if in disbelief. 

“Mhmm?” she asked, noting the sound of him swallowing. When he didn’t move, she moved her hand up to his jaw and neck, and splayed her fingers over his beard, “you were going to make a mess?” 

Rubbing his jaw lightly, she noted that she actually liked the beard a lot more than she thought she would. Tipping his head forward, he let their foreheads rest against one another for a bit, and then he very, very lightly set his lips against hers. Immediately, Clarke let out an embarrassing little whine, as she received him. The kiss went from soft and reverent, to deep and wanting in seconds- and Clarke couldn’t believe how good it felt... How natural it was. It was like coming home. 

As their kisses turned heated, Bellamy pulled her up by her thighs and set her on the counter. Now, both of her hands were on his face, while his hands were under the back of her shirt- and they just kissed. There was no rush for anything else. Just soft touches, and deep kisses. After all the years apart, it was perfect. The pace was easy between them, and Clarke could feel his fingers against her spine as he played along her vertebrae during each press of his lips. Pulling him closer, she pressed her breasts against his chest and let out a moan when his hand dipped into the space between her jeans and the small of her back. 

Moments later, he was kissing her neck as she threaded her hands in his hair. Clarke could already feel the slickness and thrumming between her thighs, and she knew that if they didn’t slow down, they were going to fuck right there in the kitchen. 

“Bell?” she let out a breathy moan, as his hand came around to cup her breast and he started to suck on her neck, “Bell, wait.” 

Pulling back, he looked up at her in concern, “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, I just-” Clarke began to say something about talking through things before they went too far. But before she could, she heard a scream as Rory ran over and began to hit Bellamy with her teddy bear, and kick him. 

“Don’t hurt my Mommy!” she yelled and shrieked, completely serious. 

“Rory! Rory!” Clarke laughed, “Rory stop. Daddy isn’t hurting me!” 

“He bit you!” she yelled looking up at her mommy with wide eyes, “I saw it!” 

“Honey,” she smiled down at her daughter and then motioned for Bellamy to step back so that she could hop down, “Mommy wasn’t hurt... Daddy was kissing me.” 

“Kissing?” 

“Yes.” 

“But that’s not how you kiss, Mommy... you know that.” 

“Well, sweetie, kissing is different for a mommy and a daddy...” Clarke said, trying to find a safe way to explain things. 

“Will it make you have a new baby?” she asked with a smile. The question caught Clarke off guard, and she heard Bellamy laugh behind her.

“No, kissing won’t do that, Rory.” 

“Oh, too bad,” she said, “because I want a sister or brother, like auntie O.” 

“Well, maybe one day,” Bellamy said, kneeling next to Clarke. Chancing a glance, Clarke felt herself blush, was he serious? 

“Oh, can I have one for Christmas!? Or my birthday next year?” Rory squealed, “Please Mommy, I’ll be really good! I promise!” 

"Well, let’s start by being good and going to bed again, okay.” 

“Fine! But then you’ll make me a brother or sister? Okay?” 

“We’ll think about it,” Clarke said, bewildered. As she walked Rory back to her room, she could hear Bellamy laughing behind her. 

"Okay, baby, time to go to bed," Clarke said, tucking Rory in.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, sweetie?" 

"Do you think Daddy still loves me, even if I hit him?" Rory asked in a small voice, with sad eyes.

"Of course he still loves you, Rory," Clarke said, smiling, "he knows you thought you were protecting me." 

"Okay. Can you give him a kiss goodnight for me?" she asked, thoughtfully, "And a real kiss. On the cheek." 

"Of course, Rory," Clarke laughed, "I love you so much, Baby Girl."

"I love you, too, Mommy," Rory smiled as Clarke pulled her into a hug and gave her daughter a kiss goodnight. 

Back in the living room, Clarke Joined Bellamy on the couch. 

"How's she doing?" he asked, with a small smile. 

"Good," Clarke said, scooting forward and kissing Bellamy on the cheek, "She asked me to give you a real kiss goodnight." 

They both laughed at that. 

"No chance of getting back to what we were doing earlier?" Bellamy turned to her and searched her eyes, "Because I like the mommy-daddy kisses." 

His grin was so wide, Clarke couldn't help but laugh. Just as she was about to stop, Bellamy surprised her by swooping in and kissing her again. This time, they kissed until Clarke stilled Bellamy by putting her hands on his shoulders and pushing back slightly. Pulling back, Clarke got up and turned the lights off. She considered grabbing blankets for him, but instead, she walked over to the couch held out her hand.

"C'mon, Bell," she said, "you can sleep in my bed tonight." 

_Tonight, they'd sleep. Tomorrow, they'd talk..._


	11. Track Eleven: Waking Up Next to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy have some alone time in the morning until they are interrupted. 
> 
> Bellamy does a few nice things for Clarke...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is smut in this chapter...

Clarke woke up to the rise and fall of Bellamy’s chest. Taking a deep breath, she enjoyed the scent of him- something completely unique, but also something completely familiar. For a moment, she wished there were no layers between them... but this was better, it was smarter to not just fall into bed together and have sex right away. That would make things less confusing and allow both of them to be objective. 

“I can hear you thinking, Princess,” Bellamy muttered in his deep freshly woken voice, and Clarke had to force herself not press her legs together. That voice alone used to be enough to make her want to jump him in the morning, “Clarke?” 

“Hmm?” she asked, moving back and looking up at him. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” she smiled. 

“Then why are you being so quiet?” 

“Oh, I’m just enjoying the cuddling... You know, you’re a bit more comfortable than you used to be.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong, I love your body no matter what... but a little less muscle makes you a down-right cuddle magnet.” 

“Oh, is that so?” 

“Mhmm,” Clarke said, weaving her leg through his, as she settled back down on his chest, “and to think, you didn’t even ask me to put-out, what a shame.” 

Bellamy just laughed, “I seem to remember that you were always the one begging for it, Clarke.” 

“I think we both were begging for it,” she purred, sliding her hand under his shirt. 

“Hmm...” Bellamy sighed, pulling her close, “I think you’re right.” 

“Bellamy, I think maybe we should talk...” 

“About?” he asked, even though he clearly knew what she was going to say. 

“Us,” Clarke said, pushing herself up to look at him, “we can’t just start dating... what if something happens? What if we ruin our relationship, how would that affect Rory?” 

“We won’t ruin it,” Bellamy said, grabbing her hand, “Look, I love you. And I don’t want to screw this up, either. But I have faith in us, and you’re worth the risk.” 

“You make it sound so easy,” Clarke said, working her lip. 

“Maybe it is easy, Clarke,” he suggested, cupping her cheek, “maybe you shouldn’t worry so much...” 

Clarke just laughed at that, “that’s like telling the sun not to shine, you know that?” 

With a smile, he pulled Clarke close and kissed her sweetly. As his kisses grew deeper, Clarke found herself straddling his lap, while his hands ghosted under her nightshirt and spanned her bareback. As his lips traveled to her neck, Clarke moved against his lap, and Bellamy let out a groan as he met her movements with enthusiasm. 

“Mommy! Daddy! Uncle Murphy is here and John Jr is here!” Immediately, Clarke pulled the blankets over herself and Bellamy. They weren’t naked or anything, yet it felt like they were being exposed. 

“Whoa, kiddo! That is not G- Rated,” Murphy said, as Clarke looked over, she saw him covering her daughter’s eyes. 

“Is Daddy biting you again?” Rory asked innocently. At that, Murphy raised his eyebrows. 

“Okay, little terror, go watch Frozen with JJ,” he said, prodding her away. When she was gone, he took a deep breath, and added, “Clarke you forgot.” 

“What did I forget?” Clarke groaned rolling over so that she was facing Murphy. All the while, Bellamy hid under the blanket and smirked at her. 

“The contractors? For the expansion...” Murphy said, “Luckily, they were happy to push it back to Noon. But you gotta leave your concubine, and get to work.” 

“Hey!” Bellamy yelled in mock indignation, “I am not a concubine...” 

“Ugh... Okay, is Emori here, then?” Clarke asked when Murphy stared at her blankly, she added, “To watch the kids?” 

“Um... Emori- she had a big presentation today. I thought Abby was watching the kids?” 

_“Shit..._ I didn’t ask her...” Clarke admitted, feeling like crap for dropping the ball. 

“C’ mon Griffin, get it together!” Murphy yelled- but he was smiling, “Um... what about Madi?” 

“No, she’s visiting her aunt's family in Shallow Valley.” 

“I could do it?” Bellamy offered, sitting up in bed, and looking between Murphy and Clarke. 

“What? Are you sure?” 

“Yeah... I mean, I practically raised my sister, I can handle two six-year-olds,” Bellamy said, smiling at Clarke. Then his eyes met Murphy’s narrowed ones, and Murphy seemed to be debating, “If that’s cool with you...” 

“Fine,” Murphy said, “I guess it’s only a few hours.” 

“Okay cool. It’s settled, Bell will take care of the kiddos while we have our meeting. Murphy, if you could excuse me, I have to get ready...” 

“Ah, yeah. I’ll be out here,” he motioned, closing the door. 

“Thanks, Bellamy... seriously, I owe you,” Clarke said, leaning forward and kissing him briefly. 

“You don’t owe me anything, Clarke. But I do want to know if you thought about that date.” 

Standing up, Clarke walked over to her dresser and fished into it for some semi-sexy underwear. She then took her nightshirt off and put on said underwear. Turning around she eyed a dumb-struck Bellamy with satisfaction. She was fairly confident he hadn’t expected that, and well, she relished his shock. Walking over to her closet, she looked for a dress- settling on the black one with a white stripe through it, she motioned to Bellamy asking his opinion. 

“I think you should just wear the bra and underwear, honestly.” 

“God, you're such a man,” she laughed, setting the dress on the bed. She then grabbed her slip and slid that over her body. After washing up, she started applying a little makeup, that was when Bellamy slid his arms around her. Her eyes met his in the mirror and neither of them said a word as he slowly kissed a line down the nape of her neck. 

“Bell, I-” she was going to say something about not having time when she felt his hands on her bare stomach... when had he snuck them under her slip? 

“Shhh...” he whispered, kissing every bump of her spine that he could reach- then he trailed his way to her ear, “you have time.” 

“Mhmm,” now, she was getting all warm, and she had to set the items in her hands down. Before she closed her eyes and gave in to him, she saw him kissing her neck and eyeing her in the mirror, as one hand settled on her breast, the other reached lower and cupped her mound. Applying the slightest pressure, she rolled her eyes, and moved her arm up to his neck for support, “Fuck, Bell.” 

Shushing her again, he hummed, “You don’t want Murphy to hear us.” 

Clarke nodded and let out a strangled gasp as he dipped his hand into her underwear and began to play with her cunt. She was so wet just from looking at him in the mirror, and now he knew, “Hmm...” he mused, “I was hoping that didn’t change.” 

“What?” 

“The effect I have on you,” Bellamy whispered, kissing her neck as he slid first one, and then two fingers into her. First, he worked her slowly, as she began to gasp, he picked up his pace. Soon, she felt his hardness against her back- and fuck, that turned her on even more. As she began to moan, his other hand went from her breast to her mouth, “shhh... Gotta be quiet, otherwise, we’ll get interrupted, and you won’t get to come.” 

Clarke nodded wildly, and he let her mouth go. Pressing her ass against him, she turned as much as she could for a kiss. Thankfully, he obliged her, holding her cheek as he kissed her heatedly, “Please, Bellamy...” 

“Please what?” He asked grinning against her cheek, now he was moving his fingers so fast, Clarke was sure she’d finish just from that. 

“Please, make me come,” she begged, to aroused to be embarrassed. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” he whispered, placing his hand back over her mouth. When she nodded at him, he moved his fingers to her clit. In moments, she was coming so hard against his fingers, her own tightening their grip on his neck. When she came down, she was sitting on his lap on the bed, his hand still between her thighs soothing her, “are you okay?” 

She nodded, turning so she could kiss him, “you?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he said, smiling against her lips, “It was a beautiful view...” 

For a moment, Clarke leaned against his shoulder, still catching her breath, “If I don’t get up, I’m going to fall asleep, Bellamy.” 

“Alright then,” he said, standing up and setting her on her feet, “Want me to make you a smoothie?” 

Clarke nodded and gave him one last kiss before she went to the dresser to grab new underwear. 

“So, you and Clarke?” Murphy asked as Bellamy grabbed the frozen fruit from the freezer. 

“Yeah, me and Clarke,” he said, “What about it?” 

“I don’t know... I guess I’m surprised, that’s all.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, I just think that most people would be more perturbed about having a relationship with someone who hid their kid from them,” Murphy said. 

“Well, Clarke and I have talked about it, I don’t hold it against her,” Bellamy said as he walked back to the fridge and grabbed the almond milk. 

“Mhmm, and you're in love with her so that probably helps?” 

Now that one got a bashful smile out of him. 

“Yeah, it doesn’t hurt.” 

“Look, when Clarke freaks out on you- and she will trust me- just be patient. She’s very self-sabotaging, as you already know.” 

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Bellamy said, pressing the button on the blender. Moments later, Clarke was out of her room and ready to leave. As Bellamy looked her over, she began to blush- which was something he would never tire of seeing, “Here you go,” he said, offering her the smoothie. 

“Thanks, Bell,” she said, and with a wink, she added, “for everything... Oh, and be careful, otherwise, those kids will eat you alive...” 

Much to his surprise, gave him a kiss on the lips before she turned to leave. 

“Thank you for your sage advice,” he patted her on the butt, laughing at her indignant squeak. 

“Alright, enough flirting, we gotta go,” Murphy said, nudging Clarke along, “Later, Blake.” 

“See ya, Murphy!” he said, pulling out food for breakfast. 

“Alright, kids! Who wants pancakes?” he asked, and both John Jr and Rory ran into the kitchen, fighting about whether or not the pancakes should be blueberry or chocolate chip, “Settle down, I’ll make both, okay?” 

At that, both children erupted with praise and then began to fight about something else.

 _Oh, this was going to be a fun day._

After hours of trailing after the screaming kids, playing “airplane” (a game in which Bellamy was the plane), listening to John Jr and Rory fight about who gets to play with which sword, and whether or not John Jr could be a prince or a knight in Rory’s Kingdom (apparently, she had heard Bellamy call Clarke princess. So, Mommy and Daddy were the prince and princess, and Rory was the queen. When Bellamy suggested John Jr be the king, Rory made and face and said, “I’m the king!”) 

It was then Bellamy realized his kid might be a little power-hungry. 

After they marched across the kingdom and saved the prince from the evil King of Murphyville (John Jr got his own kingdom- he had to settle for being the enemy though), the kids decided they wanted lunch. After that, Bellamy let them lay on the couch and watch tv until they zonked out. Taking a deep breath, he went into the kitchen to make himself something to eat. Without meaning to, he saw some large numbers on a piece of paper. 

After an internal debate, he grabbed the piece of paper and looked at it. Clarke was behind on her mortgage- by five months- and she was facing foreclosure. Now, Bellamy knew there had to be a reason for this... Clarke wasn’t the type to not pay bills and to not put those bills first. So, without thinking, he pulled out his phone and called the mortgage company. As long as he didn’t ask any questions about the account, they should let him pay enough to help her at least catch-up... 


	12. Track Twelve: Thinking Things Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke lays into Bellamy, they both say things they regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> True story: a drunk driver smashed into a cafe in my city... it's a beloved hipster spot, too. The couple rallied quickly to fix it, but insurance took almost a year to pay out.

So, what do you think about the contractor?” 

“Seems qualified,” Clarke said, unable to think of one issue regarding the expansion, “Hey can we stop by the bank? I gotta make my mortgage payment.” 

“Finally paid yourself?” 

“Something like that... The insurance money from the accident came in. I’m just paying myself back,” Clarke mumbled- after all she had to hold off on her mortgage for months, because all of her savings went into fixing the wall and front door as soon as she could, “hopefully no more drunk drivers smash into the café.” 

“Amen to that!” 

Murphy stopped at the bank, and Clarke clicked her seatbelt, “okay, I’ll be right back.” 

“Take your time,” he offered, turning on some music. 

Luckily, there wasn’t much of a line and Clarke didn’t have to wait long before being helped, “Hi, I’d like to deposit this check into my account, and then transfer the balance due to my mortgage?” 

“Of course, Ms. Griffin, I can do that for you today,” the teller was overly kind- to the point where it was a little overboard, but whatever, “Okay, so that has been deposited... and let’s take a look here... Well, Ms. Griffin, I would put this toward your mortgage, but it looks like someone actually called in and paid it off.” 

“Wait, what?” Clarke asked, “That can’t be right... I owe another 98,000 on that house.” 

“Not anymore, it looks like someone called to take care of the past-due balance... and then he saw how much was left overall, and just decided to cover the whole thing. In the notes, the deposit says, “For Princess and Queen Rory- the payee sounds funny.” 

Fuck. “Yeah, he’s a riot,” Clarke deadpanned. 

Bellamy bought her fucking house. 

Seriously? 

Taking a deep breath, Clarke smiled at the teller, “Tell me, was it Bellamy Blake who called?” 

“Uh, yes, that’s what it says on the account information,” suddenly the girl was blushing, obviously realizing what she was looking at. 

“Don’t tell anyone he did this, do you understand me?” Clarke said, looking at the girl, “No social media posts, no selling a story, got it?” 

The girl just nodded, clearly petrified. 

“Thank you. And sorry, I was rude,” Clarke apologized. She knew she could be... _intense._

Back in the car, Clarke properly freaked out. 

“I can’t believe him!” 

“Whoa, what, who?” Murphy answered, jolting awake. He had somehow fallen asleep listening to 90’s grunge music. 

“Bellamy!” 

“Aaaaaaand- cue freak out,” he murmured, shooting a finger gun at Clarke, “What awful thing did he do?” 

“You won’t believe this,” she fumed, “He paid my house off!” 

“What the hell-” he began only to lose steam as he realized what Clarke said, “Wait, what? Bellamy paid off your house?” 

“Yeah!” 

“And that’s a problem _how?_ ” 

“It’s an insult to my independence!” 

“Mmm... I don’t think it is though,” Murphy said, tilting his face and scrunching it in confusion, “I think it was actually very generous of him.” 

“Oh my god, you’re impossible...” Clarke threw her hands up, “ugh, he didn’t even talk to me about it...” 

“Okay, that’s a little bit of an issue... but it would be worse if he was taking money, rather than giving it.” 

“Look, he can’t just buy us stuff- finances are a personal thing.” 

“Yeah, so is having a kid with someone,” Murphy insisted, “he probably saw the bill and just wanted to help for Rory’s sake.” 

Okay, Murphy had a point there. 

“Well, I just feel like I’m gonna owe him now,” Clarke said, “I feel like I am obligated to agree with him on everything now...” 

“Hey, you know Bellamy would never want you to feel that way. You should talk to him- and not to yell at him, either. Like actually discuss it.” 

“God, I hate it when you’re right,” Clarke mumbled, putting her seatbelt back on. Meanwhile, Murphy said something about how Bellamy was more than welcome to buy him a house. 

When they got back to the house, Murphy scooped up John Jr real fast and left. Before he was gone though he leaned in and whispered something to Bellamy, who turned pink in the cheeks. 

“Is Rory napping?” 

“Yeah, she got tuckered out. She ran around a lot today...” Bellamy said, “why did Murphy just wish me luck?” 

“Bellamy, we need to talk.” 

“Oh, okay...” 

“the mortgage?” 

“Oh, you uh saw that already?” 

“Yeah, I went to go pay it and found out that I no longer owe the bank almost a hundred thousand dollars,” Clarke said, trying to reign in her emotions, “What were you thinking?” 

Bellamy looked stunned as if he hadn’t actually expected Clarke to be genuinely upset, “I was thinking that I could do something nice for my daughter, and the mother of my child? I don’t know, maybe make up for those six years...” 

“You don’t need to make up for that time though, Bellamy.” 

“But I want to, Clarke,” he said, walking toward her, “I want to be present, I don't want you to worry about anything, Clarke, is that so bad? I just want to take care of you and Rory-” 

“Well, I don’t want you to, okay?” she yelled, “I don’t need you to make me feel safe or good or whatever, Bellamy.” 

Okay, that didn’t come out quite right... but Clarke was too upset to backtrack. 

“Oh, okay,” Bellamy said, clearly hurt, “you didn’t seem to mind me taking care of you this morning.” 

The words fell from his lips like a heady weight of condemnation. It was their breakup all over again- Bellamy shaming her or throwing her sexuality in her face. It was frankly something she had no patience for. Before Clarke could respond Bellamy’s face was red and he looked guilty. 

“Wow,” Clarke felt like the wind had been knocked out of her, walking over to the door, she opened it, “Go. We’ll talk later. I won’t get between you and Rory- so don’t worry about that.” 

“Clarke, please, I didn’t mean-” 

“But you did. You said it- and you meant it, Bellamy,” she said, “I think we need to take a step back, and just put Rory first, okay?” 

“Fine,” he said, running his hand through his hair. Walking past her, he tried again to talk to her, “Clarke, I really didn’t mean-” 

“Yeah, you said that,” she said, “I don’t need a recap. Please, go.” 

That night, feeling more than a little dejected, Bellamy pulled out the box that Abby had given him. There were the last of the letters from Clarke. Opening the first one carefully Bellamy braced himself. 

_“...What do you say when ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough? I love you, Bellamy... and I wonder now if I made life harder than it had to be for both of us... I was scared though..._

_I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anyone. The week my father died I found some reports from his job. Everything was falling apart for him. And he couldn’t stand the shame of it, he couldn’t face his family. So, instead, he ran._

_And he crashed into a tree- we don’t know if it was on purpose or not. But it doesn’t really matter. He left me- he left my mom._

_Everyone leaves, Bellamy. I just didn’t want to wait for the inevitable. How fucked up is that? I guess I know what it’s like to be a coward like him- maybe it’s in my blood._

_Maybe I’m the problem...”_

Well, that had been... unexpected. Clarke had never told him that before. 

_“There are several reasons why I don't really like being touched. You were good for me, Bell. You broke through my boundaries without breaking me. I needed that. But, there are things that never go away._ _When I was sixteen, I was at a party and got drugged. I woke up, and some guy was on top of me- I should have fought back, but I didn’t. I took it- and when he left,_ _I_ _scrubbed my skin raw and threw up. I went to the doctor, they told me I was fine. But I wasn’t fine_ _._ _”_

Bellamy was suddenly seeing red. Just the mere thought of someone hurting Clarke... it made him want to hunt them down, to end them. 

_“...My girlfriend broke up with me._ _Apparently, I couldn’t love her enough. I suppose still loving you is kind of a mental and emotional roadblock for me_ _. Yet, I don’t regret you Bellamy. I don't think I could ever regret you...”_

The last letter just had one sentence: 

_“I wish you were here.”_

Several things about Clarke clicked all at once as he thought about these letters. Were they old? Maybe. But the sentiment is the same- Clarke needed to know she was wanted, she needed someone to fight for her- but also needed them to hang back and wait for her if she wasn’t ready. 

Right now, she wasn’t ready. And Bellamy had to be okay with that. 

When she was ready, he was going to fight for her.

* * *

The next morning when Clarke woke up, to a text from Bellamy. He was going to New York for a few days to finish some recording with Monty and Jasper.

Much to her surprise though, there were Tulips on her front porch. 

The note was simple: 

_“I’m an ass.” -Love, Bell_

Okay, Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at that- one thing Bellamy could always do was make her laugh. Not that she was going to tell him that. 

The next day, she received a dozen Roses at work, this time the note read, _“These Roses all look the same, but you’re one of a kind. For a songwriter, you think I’d be better at poetry. Surprise.”_

Oh my god, was he serious? 

And after that there were Lilies on her porch, the note read, “ _Okay... no to roses? Noted. I hope you like these.”_

The day after, it was Sunflowers, _“These remind me of your hair, your smile, your personality... Stay bright, Clarke.”_

And the day after that, Bellamy arrived with the flowers, this time it was Chrysanthemums- the flowers of friendship, “Read the note,” he said as Clarke rolled her eyes, _“These ones I can’t pronounce... but they are almost as pretty as you...”_

“Oh my god, Bellamy...” she rolled her eyes, and laughed, “I am literally out of vases.” 

At that, he let out a hearty laugh, “I know it’s ridiculous, but, Clarke... I really am sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about the mortgage- I should have asked if I could help. I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you wanted to take things slow. I get it now.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I read your letters,” he said, “I get it.” 

Clarke took the flowers from him... she had to look away before she started crying... 

“I’m not like him though, I won’t leave. No matter what role I have your life Clarke- I'm here for the long haul.” 

“Okay,” Clarke said, her eyes officially watering, “Rory’s ready if you want to go get her. And I’m sorry for freaking out on you. You have every right to want to provide for her. Let’s discuss big purchases in the future.” 

Bellamy stood close to her and nodded. As he did so, he placed his hand lightly on her cheek and swiped her tears with his thumb, “I am so sorry for what I said to you the day we broke up, and I’m sorry for what I said last week... you are amazing, and I have been so fortunate to be able to... well, you know.” he quirked his eyebrows suggestively, “I never should have shamed you like that. I’m supposed to protect you, to be the one you trust.” 

“Says who?” Clarke asked, actually curious, “that’s a lot to put on yourself, Bellamy.” 

“Says me... and it doesn’t matter, the day I fell in love with you, Clarke, I took on that responsibility. No matter what I am to you- that doesn’t change, okay?” 

“I forgive you,” she mumbled, his words had a heavy effect on her... but she wasn’t ready to let him know that. 

“It’ll never happen again, okay?” 

Sniffing the flowers, Clarke nodded, “Okay.” 

And to his credit, it never did happen again. The pair agreed that Clarke would pick up Rory on Sunday after she went with Octavia and got fitted for her bridesmaid’s dress. The wedding was now in two weeks, and Clarke was actually nervous. She and Bellamy decided not to shake up the whole room situation. They could share for a three-day weekend. And Rory would be there as a buffer, anyway- so, everything would be fine.


	13. Track Thirteen: Just a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy head to O's wedding. They have a three day weekend... and that presents them with some challenges.
> 
> Also, Clarke has a dream, and Bellamy makes an offer... But is he serious?

“It’s 100.9,” Abby confirmed, staring at the thermometer, before turning to her daughter. “Clarke, that’s a fever. You can't take her...” 

“I take that Tylenol won’t be enough to keep it down?” 

“She needs fluids, rest and observation... You can’t really do that at a Bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner and wedding reception, can you?” 

Clarke just shook her head. She was feeling helpless, as Rory lay in bed, asleep and sweating. How did she even get sick? It was useless to wonder. At least her mom would be there to take care of her. After she gave Rory a kiss on the forehead, Clarke heard the doorbell ring, so she went and let Bellamy in.

“Where’s Rory?” Bellamy asked as he stepped over the threshold. He had something under his arm, “Usually she runs up to me.” 

Clarke smiled softly at the fact that they had a “normal” now, “Bell, Rory’s sick. She has a fever.” 

“Oh, no,” he said, eyes softening, “Can I see her? I brought her a teddy bear... thought it might help on the plane.” 

“That’s so cute, I’m sure she’ll love it,” Clarke smiled, as he showed her the classic brown teddy. Rory was so sick she hardly stirred as her parents said goodbye. It wasn’t going to be a long plane ride to D.C., where Lincoln was from. Clarke was actually excited to go. Hopefully, she could see some of the sites. 

“Hey, don’t spend the whole time worrying,” Clarke smiled softly at Bellamy, who was sitting in the seat next to her. 

“How do you do this? Jesus, I’m terrified of a _fever_ , Clarke.” 

“She’ll be okay. My mom is a doctor and Rory has a strong immune system,” Clarke gave him a soft smile, as she squeezed his hand, “you’re a good Dad though, for being concerned. We can facetime her- she’ll love that.” 

“You’re right,” Bellamy said, smiling back at her. For just a moment, Clarke caressed his hand, until she realized what she was doing and let him go. 

They were putting Rory first, after all. 

When they arrived at the hotel, Clarke was already exhausted. They checked in, and the front desk attendant informed them that the hotel was at maximum occupancy and that due to the timing of their reservation, they were unable to get two beds. However, they did get a pull-out. 

“That’s fine,” Bellamy assured them, as he accepted the keys, “Are there sheets in there for that?” 

“Yes, Mr. Blake,” the attendant assured him, with a smile, “If you need anything at all, please do not hesitate to call us.” 

Clarke and Bellamy thanked the agent and made their way to the room, “I’ll take the pullout,” Bell offered, “you can have the bed.” 

“We could alternate nights?” Clarke countered. After all, he was paying for the room, he should sleep in the bed. 

“Just take the bed, Clarke,” Bellamy laughed, “I don’t want to fight about it.” 

Clarke rolled her eyes but agreed. She announced that she was going to take a nap before getting ready for the bachelorette party, which was in the bridal party's two-bedroom suite. Technically, Clarke could stay there for the duration of the weekend. But the idea made her feel guilty. She came here with Bellamy, and she didn’t really want to just ditch him- especially considering they were both worried about Rory. 

The Bachelorette party was fun- Harper and Maya were both there, and Octavia was stoned on some of Maya’s brownies already. Having a rare weekend without Rory, Clarke threw caution to the wind and had one, too. Within a half-hour, Clarke was lying in a square with the other girls, and they were all laughing about nothing in particular. 

“Okay, so Octavia, how did Lincoln pop the question?” Clarke asked- she was so behind on these things. 

“Well, four years ago, Lincoln and I actually broke up... When my mom got sick, we reconnected. Bellamy was being really distant, and I was feeling lonely. I told Lincoln that I was losing my family, and he said that was impossible because we were family. A year later, he bought me a ring.” 

Almost immediately, all three of the bridesmaids were going, “Awwww...” 

“So, when are you two gonna make honest men out of Monty and Jasper?” Clarke asked, jabbing the other girls playfully. 

“Jasper doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage,” Maya said, laughing, “We had a handfasting though.” 

“And don’t tell anyone, but I found a ring in our dresser the other day,” Harper said, “I think Monty doesn’t want to eclipse your big day though, O.” 

“Well, that’s very considerate of him,” Octavia laughed, “I’m betting Clarke will actually get married before either of you, though.” 

Confused, Clarke flipped over on her stomach, “What?” 

Mirroring her, the other girls flipped over, too, “Yeah, Bell has my mom’s ring. And he sure as hell didn’t get it cleaned for Echo.” 

“Well, he didn’t get it cleaned for me, either, O,” Clarke said, turning over again, “We aren’t together.” 

“Yeah, you’re going to have to remind him of that,” Octavia smiled, “When Bellamy has his heart and mind set on something, he usually plays the long game and gets what he wants.” 

“Well, that’s romantic,” Harper deadpanned, and Maya laughed. 

“Not as romantic as sending Clarke apology flowers every day for an entire week,” Octavia said, “Even though I told him not to... but in the end, he was right,” she sighed, “Because, whether or not you will admit it, Clarke, Bellamy knows you better than anyone does. And he has an immense amount of patience. It’s actually a bit ridiculous.” 

“Well, he deserves better than me,” Clarke said, her heart aching at the thought of him actually moving on. She had to shove that idea away though. Just then, Maya got an alert on her phone. Opening up Snapchat, the girls watched a video that involved the men taking body shots off of a stripper. 

“That’s disgusting,” Octavia said, “you guys are okay with that?” 

The video was just of Jasper and another friend of Lincoln’s. 

_There was no way Bell would do that, right? Why did it even matter?_

“Well, Jasper and I are very open with our sexuality. So, I don’t mind.” 

“Oh, Monty would be dead if he was doing that.” 

“As would Lincoln,” Octavia said, “Unless I was there, doing it too, of course.” 

Then everyone looked toward Clarke who threw her hands in the air, “Oh my god! You guys, Bellamy can take body shots off of whoever he wants, I don’t care.” 

“Except you do,” Octavia said, stretching her arm out and placing her index finger on Clarke’s ear, “your ears turn red when you get jealous. The same thing happened when you found out that Gina tried to kiss Bellamy when you were dating.” 

“You're impossible,” Clarke said, hating O for being right, “Now, this is your party. Let’s talk about you!” 

Thankfully, the other women complied, and they changed the subject. 

Clarke didn’t get back to the room until two in the morning. Bellamy was still out, and Clarke changed and curled up under the blankets. In no time, she was sleeping soundly. 

A couple of hours later, Clarke woke up to some rustling in the room. The mattress dipped down as Bellamy sat on it, and started to remove his shoes. Much to Clarke’s surprise, instead of heading to the couch, Bellamy slipped into the bed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to his chest. 

Truthfully, Clarke didn’t really mind. She’d missed his arms around her, so she didn’t say anything. Somewhere in the early morning, Clarke felt Bellamy shift against her- he was half-hard and thrusting into her. Turning around, he was smiling at her, and raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

_“_ _Wanna_ _?”_ he asked, while his hand reached under nightshirt and he grazed his thumb over her nipple. Slowly, he moved closer to her, and she let him kiss her until she could hardly breathe. His lips were suddenly on her neck, and she was half on top of him, grinding and feeling intensely aroused. It was a little unnatural, how her clothes were suddenly off, and Bellamy was lapping at her nipples, his expert hands making her moan his name. Flipping her over, he pinned her down by her wrists, and whispered in her ear, _“you should wake up, Princess.”_

_“What?”_ she whispered, feeling confused. 

“Clarke, time to get up, breakfast is almost over.” 

At that, Clarke opened her eyes to see Bellamy smirking down at her, “Were you having a good dream, Princess?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she said, turning over and putting a pillow over her head in embarrassment. 

“It’s okay... I think I was the only one who heard you moaning,” he laughed. 

Angry and embarrassed, Clarke sat up and stared him down, “You’re not funny, Bellamy!” 

Then her eyes saw the pullout couch, it had some rumpled bedding on it... 

_So, Clarke had dreamt the entire thing._ Moving to lie back down, she felt the slick in between her thighs. Dammit, she was turned on. 

“Oh, it’s okay, it’s not like I haven’t heard you moan my name before,” he said, pulling his shirt off. As Clarke admired the muscular expanse of his back, her throat went dry. 

“Shut up,” Clarke snapped- more so in frustration, “and leave me alone.” 

“Just admit it,” he said, slipping a Tool T-shirt on, and folding his arms over his chest. 

“Admit what? That I'm going to take a shower?”

“Admit that you were having a sex dream about me...” 

“Whatever,” she said, trying to be nonchalant about it, “I had a sex dream about you. But it was just a dream.” 

Now Bellamy was standing across the room from her, smirking, with his hands on his hips, “Okay,” he said. 

“'Not gonna happen, so don’t even start to think...” Clarke said with unconvincing resolve. 

In the bathroom, Clarke turned the shower on. There was a knock on the door, and she opened it, "What now, Bellamy?"

“I just going to say, if you uh, do end up needing some _tension relief_...” Bellamy said with a smirk, “It could just be for this weekend. When we leave, we don’t have to talk about it again. Up to you.” 

_Was he seriously offering to have sex with her?_

"In your dreams, Bell," she said, with a tone of finality about it. 

"Actually, in your dreams, Princess," he said, practically bouncing with enthusiasm. With a glower, Clarke flipped him off before shutting the door in his face.

As she enjoyed the hot spray of the shower, she decided to blame the pot brownies for her ridiculously vivid sex dream about Bellamy. As far as the ridiculously vivid fantasies now playing out in her mind- well, she had no one but herself to blame for those.


	14. Track Fourteen: The Precipice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are talks and teases- a decision is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys... fair warning: we are getting closer to this fic earning its "explicit" rating. The next chapter will be smutty af.

Bellamy thought about going down to get breakfast... but he had already had his picture taken when he went to the ice machine, so- no, he decided to get room service. Unsure about what Clarke would want, he ordered way too much food. 

“I thought you were going to breakfast?” Clarke asked, walking into the bedroom in just a towel. 

“Nope,” Bellamy had to fight his instincts and look away from her almost-naked body, “Too many people. Someone already took a photo of me.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Yep,” he said, “being famous sucks.” 

“Well except when you can get any and all women you want, right?” 

“You know... the one I want tends to enjoy turning me down. So, not a perk for me,” Bellamy said. He wasn’t offended by Clarke turning him down, so he made sure say it lightly. 

Clarke just shook her head, grabbing her clothes from the drawers. To Bellamy’s surprise, she dropped the towel right there and simply dressed. Yeah, he’d seen Clarke naked plenty of times, but that was years ago. And seeing her now (even if it was just her back and her perfect ass), he couldn’t help but feel heat erupt under his skin. When she turned around, however, he pretended that his eyes had only been on the television. 

“Is one of these for me?” Clarke asked, sitting on the bed next to him. When Bellamy nodded, she grabbed a plate. 

“Oh, wait,” he said turning to the nightstand on his other side, he grabbed the untouched champagne glass that was sitting there, “Mimosa?” 

“Oh, fancy,” Clarke said, smiling widely. Taking a sip, she let out a moan, and closed her eyes, “So good...” 

“I know, isn’t it?” 

The pair sat and ate in companionable silence, after the second episode of “The 1990s: The Deadliest Decade”, Clarke spoke. 

“Bellamy?” 

“Yeah?” he asked, turning to find her still looking at the tv. 

“Were you serious, earlier?” 

“You’ll have to refresh my memory, Princess,” he said, although he was pretty sure he knew what she was talking about. 

“Would you really be okay with hooking up, and then just forgetting about it?” 

“Yeah, if that’s what you want,” he said, “I mean, it’s not unheard of for such things to happen at weddings.” 

“You’re not going to propose to me or anything, are you?” 

At that, Bellamy just laughed, _“What?”_

“O said you got your Mom’s ring cleaned,” okay, now Bellamy had to blush, because yes, he had done that with Clarke in mind... but not for the immediate future, “Octavia is just bored. Don’t let her get to you.” 

“So, you didn’t get it cleaned for me?” 

“Look, Clarke...” they were now actually looking at one another, with both of their backs against the headboard. Suddenly Bellamy’s nose was filled with the scent of her rose perfume, “I got the ring cleaned for _someday._ I know that sort of thing isn’t happening anytime soon for me. And if it never happens for me, then I think I’ll give the ring to Rory.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Bellamy said, smiling, “I think my mom would have liked that. Or I can give it to a son if I ever have one, and he wants to get married, who knows.” 

“So, you plan on having more kids out of wedlock?” Clarke asked, her voice sounding strained, “I mean, otherwise you’d give it to your wife- you know, the mother of your theoretical son.” 

Bellamy just laughed, “are you jealous of my non-existent wife, Clarke?” 

“What? No, shut up,” she snapped, finishing her Mimosa she grumbled, “Bet she won't have tits as nice as mine.” 

Bellamy eyed her, and then her chest, before she realized what he was doing, “Honestly, probably not. I haven’t seen better.” Staring at her, He enjoyed watching both her face and chest flush red. 

“Bellamy, hooking up is a really bad idea...” it was then that he noticed her thighs were pressed together, and she’d started breathing faster. 

_Oh, so she was tempted?_

“Eh, I’ve had worse ideas,” he admitted, scooting closer to her. At this point, Clarke was staring at his lips, and he knew that if he kissed her, she’d give in. 

But this wasn’t about him. He only wanted this if she actually wanted it- otherwise, it wouldn’t be worth the pain of pretending it never happened. 

“Did you cuddle with me last night?” Clarke’s eyes snapped up to his after she asked the question, “I’ve been feeling insane all morning thinking that I hallucinated you coming in the room, taking your shoes off, crawling into bed and putting your arm around me. It felt real... and I- and Its okay if you did.” 

“Guilty,” Bellamy admitted, “I was a little drunk, sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” Clarke said, smiling, “it was... nice.” 

“Good.” 

“So...” Clarke gulped, and looked up at the ceiling, _“God damn it, Bellamy.”_

“What?” he laughed. 

“Now I can’t stop thinking about fucking you,” she said, turning to him with a smirk. The boldness of her statement was a huge turn on, and it left Bellamy’s throat dry. In one fluid motion, Clarke got up on her knees and brought her lips to his. Without kissing him, she moved over his body and grabbed something from the side table. Sitting up, she rested on his lap (goddamn it, she had to know what she was doing, right?), and smirked at him while looking at her phone. 

At this point, she was literally sitting on his dick, and Bellamy was going just a little crazy, “Clarke?” 

“Mhmm?” she asked, glancing up at him as if she were completely innocent. 

“You, uh, you're... on my...” 

“What, Bell?” she asked, bearing down on him, just enough for him to feel her warmth and softness. It was just enough for him to imagine burying himself in her and he let out an embarrassing groan in response, “Oh, so it’s okay for you to drive me crazy? But I can’t return the favor?” 

_“Clarke-”_ he had started to talk but stopped when she flicked her hips against him, “Fuck, Clarke...” 

“Yes?” she asked, but suddenly her phone rang and, after one more slide of her hips against his, she hopped off of him, “Oops, gotta take this. It’s the Bride.” 

“Hey, what’s up?” Clarke asked, walking into the bathroom and leaving him on the bed, with his fingers running through his hair, as his body refused to calm down. When she left a few minutes later, she informed him that they were going to have to put their activities on hold. 

And yeah, Bellamy should have seen all of that coming. 

* * *

The rest of the day went by in a blur for Clarke... She was glad for it though, otherwise, she’d be second-guessing herself right into a spiral. She spent hours with the other bridesmaids decorating the banquet hall (one of the few ways O wanted to save money... Although she had confided in Clarke that Bell offered to pay for the wedding, which of course, Octavia and Lincoln refused). Octavia had never been into the “Dream Wedding” culture, but she certainly wanted the day to be perfect, more so for Lincoln’s sake. Weddings and ritual were apparently important to his family. 

Octavia did apologize for what she had said about her Bellamy at the Bachelorette party. Clarke insisted it was fine. When Octavia asked how they were getting along, Clarke couldn’t hide her blush and she heard the younger Blake murmur something like, “that’s what I thought”. 

The planning kept Clarke busy up until it was time to get ready for the rehearsal dinner. She saw Bellamy for a whole five minutes while they talked to Rory on the iPad. Rory was thankfully doing much better. She was also having a great time with Grandma and insisted that Mommy and Daddy have fun, too. As soon as the call was over though, Bellamy had to jump in the shower, and Clarke had to do her make up. It wasn’t until the ceremony rehearsal that Clarke was able to get a good look at Bell. 

Recently, he’d gotten back into working out, and was looking a little slimmer (she didn’t care either way, but he did say he felt better), his curly hair had recently been trimmed a little, and his facial hair was neatly trimmed and framed his jaw well. 

Standing behind O, Clarke caught Bellamy’s gaze and looked away. 

God, she was thirsting after him so hard, it was an embarrassment. Once everyone sat down for dinner and went through motions, they were all told to eat and drink, and they could leave when they wanted. Clarke spent some time nursing her rum and coke- the entire time she was having an internal debate. Was she really going to cave so fast? 

Then again, was it caving if it was just a hookup? 

Could it ever be just a hook up between the two of them? 

Staring down at her half-eaten steak, Clarke tried to clear her mind. 

“You’re thinking too much, Princess,” Bellamy whispered in her ear, his hot breath hitting her neck, and sending a delicious shiver down her spine. Setting his hand on her thigh, he tried to soothe her, “My offer was supposed to make things easier for you, not more difficult.” 

And that’s ultimately what got her- Bellamy genuinely cared. It wasn't that it would be meaningless- it was just that he wouldn’t hold it against her if she wasn’t ready for more- for a commitment- after this weekend.

Frankly, Clarke honestly couldn’t remember the last time she had gotten properly fucked- she had been wound up for so long. And yeah, the handy from him a few weeks ago was nice... but she knew there was nothing like being full of him. _Aaaaand_ now she was blushing- her body getting warmer and warmer, as Bellamy’s hand moved from her knee up to the top of her thigh and back down. He wasn’t afraid to touch her- which was good, because she hadn’t been touched like that in so long. Before she lost her nerve, she turned to him and whispered, “let’s go.” 


	15. Track Fifteen: Rules We Make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rules are made. Clarke insists its just one night- and they both are more gone by the end of it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is explicit sexual content in this chapter. 
> 
> Notes: 
> 
> Okay, guys! Here it is... this is absolutely explicit and indulgent.
> 
> Anyway, I worked pretty hard on this, and I really hope that it reads well!

As soon as they cleared the threshold, Bellamy’s lips were on Clarke’s. It knocked the wind out of her, the way he invaded her space with greedy hands and demanding kisses. For a few moments that’s all it was: Clarke, Bellamy, their shared warmth and breath. 

Her legs wrapped around his waist easily, while her back hit the wall. They continued to kiss as his hands skimmed up her thighs and beyond, pulling the hem of her dress up higher and higher until they had to separate. Bellamy pulled back and his eyes locked on hers before he pulled her dress up and over her head. Clarke made quick work of his shirt buttons while he kissed her neck. 

_“Rules,”_ she panted, trying to think. Clarke let out a moan when he bit down on a particularly sensitive spot, _“_ _B_ _e_ _ll, we_ _should set rules.”_

“Fine, Princess, that’s all you,” He said, while his dress-shirt fell to the floor, and Clarke began to pull on his tank top. 

“Just tonight,” she said, looking over his bare chest and running her hands along his skin... god, she had missed that eternally sun-kissed shade of bronze, “We don’t tell anyone else.” 

“Okay, fair enough,” Bellamy leaned in to kiss her again, but Clarke stopped him, “What?” 

“And no declarations... no matter how much either of us wants to say it,” as Clarke spoke her throat felt raw, and she saw Bellamy’s eyes well up slightly. But he just nodded, “It’ll be too difficult otherwise, okay?” 

His eyes were sharp and aware as he stared at her. With just a nod, he leaned back in to kiss her and Clarke let him. In moments her bra was off, and she could feel the warmth of his chest against hers. With one hand bracing her back, and the other holding up her thighs, Bell pulled her off the wall and walked her to the bed, all the while kissing her deeply. 

Landing on the pillows, Clarke could feel his heartbeat pounding through his ribs. Despite the fact that he was trying not to crush her, they were still chest to chest. Her own heart was going insane, too. As they continued to kiss, their hands explored one another. She noticed little things, like the fact that Bellamy had a new scar on his arm that she would have to ask about later. As Bellamy’s lips trailed down her body, Clarke noticed the way his fingers traced the faded stretch marks from her pregnancy. 

“Are those from...?” he asked, not needing to elaborate further. Clarke merely nodded and heard him whisper a small “thank you,” against her stomach. 

It had always been like this with Bellamy... Having sex with him- It always made Clarke feel worshipped, appreciated, known in a way that no one else would ever comprehend or be able to impersonate. For a few moments his lips trailed over the marks, and then he settled between her legs. 

With a small smirk, Bellamy pulled her panties down. Making eye contact, he made sure Clarke was watching while his tongue dipped between her folds- and she closed her eyes at the sensation. After a moment, he adjusted her legs, opening them up in front of him, likely to get a better view. Clarke watched as he kissed up her thigh, nosed at her folds until he was kissing her clit just like he would her lips. She knew she wasn’t allowed to look away until he had his fingers inside her. 

“You remember my preferences,” he said, smiling against her thigh. 

“Well when you get left half-crazy from arousal enough times, you tend to remember,” she laughed and then moaned as Bellamy licked her fully, putting a delicious amount of pressure on her clit at the end, “getting left without an orgasm is torture... I swear waterboarding has nothing on you,” He chuckled at her comparison, and puffed warm air on her as a reward. 

After a moment, Clarke could feel his fingers dancing around her opening, she knew she had to ask him to do it. Bellamy enjoyed being asked- so, she did so nicely, and he sealed his lips over her clit, and slowly inserted a finger. 

At some point, he pulled his fingers out, and grabbed her ass with his hands as his lips, tongue and teeth took turns teasing her clit. Clarke had honestly thought that the beard and mustache would be an issue, but it wasn’t... if anything it added extra sensation and teased her even more.

Losing control, Clarke’s hands found his hair, and she began to ride his face. As she was getting close to orgasm, she looked down at him, completely and utterly buried in her- he looked as if that was where he belonged. The very sight of it made her climax, and she let out an unexpected cry of pleasure as she came.

When Clarke opened her eyes again, Bellamy had his pants and boxers off and was wiping his face off with a washcloth. When he noticed her watching him, he walked over and laid next to her. Clarke couldn’t stop staring at his cock. Maybe it was rude, but Bellamy probably remembered the enthusiastic fascination that she had with it, “Did it... get bigger?” 

“What?” Bellamy asked, laughing and looking down at his erect cock. As observed it he spoke, “I don’t think so... maybe you just forgot what it was like?” 

“Maybe,” she said, sliding her hand over it gently. As her featherlight movements took on substance, Bell threw his head back in pleasure. His hips responded to her greedily, and Clarke knew that if she wanted to, she could make him finish like this... But that’s _not_ what she wanted, “Alright, Bell. Are you gonna fuck me now?” she asked, teasing the head of his cock, while she propped herself up on her elbow. 

“Is that what you want?” he asked, while one of his hands slid into her hair, and he pulled her in, kissing her thoroughly. Clarke merely nodded and allowed him to roll himself over her. With his knees between her thighs, he was guiding himself into her when he suddenly stopped, “Wait... Condom?” 

“I’m clean,” Clarke said, “and I have an IUD.” 

“Okay, me too,” he said, and when Clarke laughed, he elaborated, “I’m clean- obviously, I don’t have an IUD.” 

Clarke just laughed, and then hooked her legs around his, pulling him closer to her. She could feel him there, just outside of her- his tip grazing her heat. Making eye contact, Clarke wrapped herself even more tightly around him- thereby, pushing his cock into her slightly. 

“Okay, that’s hot as fuck, Clarke,” he said, his hair falling in front of his flushed face, as his breathing became labored. 

“C’mon, Bell,” Clarke encouraged him with a small whine, while grabbing one of his hands, and pulling him closer. Taking the hint, he grabbed the small of her back and pushed himself into her slowly. While they kissed, he continued to slide himself into her deeper and deeper, inch by inch, until he was locked in. 

Finally joined, the pair exhaled in relief and laid together for a minute, not moving, just enjoying the feel of one another. It was in that moment that Clarke knew she was going to break every single one of her stupid fucking rules. 

Moments later, with his body flush against hers, Bellamy was thrusting in and out of her at a punishing pace. Clarke gripped his hair as he lavished her breasts, shoulders, and neck with attention. The more she moaned, the more animalistic he became- until his hip movements became erratic. 

As Clarke got lost in her pleasure, a hot coil of tension wound tighter and tighter in her belly, until his large hands came up to still her hips. When he gripped her and pressed his thumbs above her pubic bone, and a climatic shock shot through her body, making her clench around him. Clarke cried out as he fucked into her and rode her through her second orgasm. When she was at the tail end of her own climax, he let out two more thrusts- the last deeper than the first- and spilled into her. 

* * *

Breathing heavily, Bellamy Collapsed against Clarke’s chest and closed his eyes. 

He hadn’t known how much he needed her, how much he wanted her. 

He didn’t realize how much he had missed being with her, or really, being a part of her... 

while he gracelessly laid on top of her, Clarke ran her hands through his hair and hummed. As the feeling came back to his limbs, he pulled away and moved the two of them around until they were covered by blankets. 

He settled his head on his pillow and watched her facial expressions- she looked so serene, happy, unfettered. 

“Feel better?” he asked, cupping her cheek and running his thumb along her jawline. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and she nodded. 

“I didn’t know how much I needed that,” she said, yawning. And scooting closer to him. Taking the hint, Bellamy wrapped her in his arms, and let her tuck her head under his chin, “Thank you,” she murmured lightly. 

With a small smile, Bellamy kissed her forehead, and let out a sigh. He was half-tempted to ask if she’d be there when he woke up... since Clarke had a tendency to freak out and disappear at times. 

It seemed that he didn’t need to ask. As if sensing his worry, Clarke looked up at him and smiled, “I’ll be here in the morning,” she assured him, “so get some sleep.” 

She then set her hand on his chest, and caressed it lightly, until her body went slack with sleep. 

He almost said he loved her- but then he remembered the rules.


	16. Track Sixteen: Good to Have You Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia and Clarke have a very healing discussion. O asks Bell to do something for her.

Clarke woke with familiar arms around her, and familiar legs tangled in her own. 

Drinking in the scent of him, she pretended- for just a moment- that they were at home, waking up together before the start of another busy day. That maybe Bell would get up and make her and Rory breakfast, while Clarke got ready and made their lunches... Would they all carpool together? Or would Clarke go to work, and Bell would take Rory to school? 

Maybe she would take Rory, and Bell would stay home and work on recording in the garage that they would have recently updated together. 

_Maybe, maybe, maybe..._

_What if, what if, what if..._

Clarke had to shake the thoughts out of her head. There was no way that, after everything she did to him, she’d get that happy ending. She wouldn’t let him settle for her. However, she had promised she’d be there, in his arms when he woke up- so, here she was, just letting him hold her, while his warm breath hit her neck. 

She was still in love with him- she knew that now. 

She almost said it last night, and if she wasn’t careful, she’d say it today. 

So, she had to be careful... Lost in her thoughts, she was then jolted back to reality when someone knocked on the door and yelled, “Room Service!” 

“Just a minute!” Clarke yelled as Bell stirred around her, “Bellamy...” 

“Yeah, Princess?” his voice sounded gruff with sleep, and Clarke had to fight the swell of arousal that it caused, “What’s that?” 

“Room Service...” she said, “did you preorder?” 

“Uh, yeah,” he mumbled, raking his hand over his face, “yesterday.” 

“Okay,” Clarke nodded, “Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” 

Getting up, Clarke walked to the door and grabbed her dress from yesterday. Slipping it on, she then opened the door a crack. 

“Mrs. Blake...” a young man, about maybe twenty, was staring back at her with his hands grasping the cart. 

“Yes?” Clarke said. She had to fight the instinct to correct the error, but she knew better than to give her name out. 

“I have your food,” he said, motioning down to the trays. 

“Oh, yes, thank you,” As Clarke began to grab a tray, a strong arm wrapped around her waist, and Bellamy was offering the room service guy a bill that was way too big for the task. 

“Here you go,” he said, smiling, “just leave the cart.” 

“Oh, okay,” the guy said, working the bill to find there were two hundred-dollar bills, “Uh, sir?” 

“For discretion, just in case. Sound good?” Bellamy asked, moving one of the lids off and grabbing a piece of bacon, “my sister is getting married, and well... _Mrs. Blake_ and I don’t need to end up on the internet, okay?” 

The kid nodded, while Bell leaned forward, studying his name tag, “Otherwise- _Dax, is it?-_ I’ll have a talk with your boss if I see any stupid posts about what “Bellamy Blake Enjoys Eating for Breakfast” or “Bell's Secret Wife” or anything like that, okay?” 

The kid nodded. 

“Thank you for being a decent human being,” Bellamy clapped him on the shoulder and nodded. The kid looked terrified and almost ran down the hall. 

“Oh my god, Bellamy,” Clarke laughed, “I think he peed his pants a little.” 

“Hmm, well... Mission accomplished then,” he said, flashing a charming smile, and pulling the cart into the room, “it’s good that you didn’t give him your name. Although, I am sure I’ll be hearing something about a secret wife in a week or two from Miller.” 

Clarke laughed, as Bell closed the door. 

“Well, we could spread another rumor about a less-than-secret annulment?” 

At that, Bellamy’s back stiffened momentarily. Turning to her, he handed her a cup of coffee, made just how she liked it. After watching her take a sip, he moved forward to place a plate on the side table, “Fictional or not, Clarke... If I had you, I wouldn’t be letting you go so easily,” his hand came up and loosely toyed with her hair, as he kissed her forehead. When Clarke opened her eyes, she realized that he was only wearing boxers. 

“You realize that you answered the door almost naked, right?” 

“Well, that was part of the scare-tactic,” he said, snagging another piece of bacon, and handing Clarke her plate. 

“He’s going to think we had sex.” 

“Well, we did have sex,” Bellamy smirked. 

“Yeah, I remember... doesn’t mean people need to think we did.” 

“He’s just a bellboy. We’re fine, Clarke,” Bellamy assured her, as they both settled back into the bed, “now, let’s eat, then we can have sex again.” 

“Shut up!” Clarke said, shoving him so hard, he almost fell out of bed. 

“Make me.” 

Oh, so now he was baiting her. Before Clarke thought better of it, she leaned forward and kissed him to shut him up. It wasn’t particularly heated or anything, but it was unexpected.

However, she remembered her rules and stopped. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled, taking a bit of her bacon. 

“Hey, they’re your rules, not mine. If you wanna break them, be my guest,” although she was blushing, Bellamy was grinning from ear to ear. Clarke knew him well enough to know that he was being serious now. 

“It was really good,” Clarke admitted softly, taking a bite of her omelet. 

“The best I’ve had in six years,” Bellamy said, not making eye contact, “I’ve missed you, Clarke. More than any other emotion- more than pain, more than anger... I’ve just, I don’t know. I’ve longed for you.” 

Clarke felt tears stinging her eyes, she felt the same way, but this... it was too much right now. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said, getting up again, Clarke watched his back ripple as he moved, “here.” 

A mimosa. 

“Alcohol solves everything?” Clarke asked, smiling. 

“When you have no real responsibilities today, yes,” he laughed. 

Clarke drained the glass easily. After a few minutes she wanted to say something... she wanted to tell him she felt the same way... that she had wanted him so much while he was gone. That she didn’t feel right without him. 

“Bell?” she ventured, scooting closer to him. 

“Yeah?” he asked, his face complete serious, just like it was when he had been talking a couple of minutes ago. 

“Bellamy, I have to tell you... I-” 

Suddenly, there was knocking and Clarke let out a gasp, while Bellamy let out a ragged breath and rolled his eyes. As another knock pounded on the door, he started to get up.

“Clarke!” it was Octavia’s voice, frantic, “Clarke! I need your help!” 

“I’ll just-” Bellamy nodded to the bathroom. If there was anyone they didn’t want to know... it was probably Octavia. And seeing her mostly naked brother in the room, well... O wasn’t stupid. Clarke just nodded. 

“Just a minute, O!” she yelled, looking around, Clarke saw Bellamy’s clothes on the floor and grabbed them. Quickly, she changed into tame pajamas and threw Bell’s pj's into the bathroom for him. Opening the door, a frantic Octavia met her gaze. 

“Clarke!” she said, crying, “I- can’t.” 

“O, what's wrong?” Clarke asked, concerned. Glancing behind the door quickly, she saw her bra from last night. Fuck. As Octavia walked into her room, she beelined for the tissue on the desk, and Clarke quickly grabbed her bra and threw it in the dresser before O could turn around. 

“It’s all wrong...” O sputtered, walking over and throwing her arms around Clarke, “My mom should be here.” 

Of course, this had to be really hard for her. Sitting on the bed, O told Clarke about the fact that she thought her mom would make it this long, and that she wished she wouldn’t have waited so long. Really, Octavia just seemed to need a good cry, and Clarke let her do that. 

“Where’s Bellamy?” She asked, pulling away and wiping her tears. 

“Uh, he’s in the bathroom. I think he wanted to give us some privacy... you sounded really panicked.” 

“Yeah, I feel a lot better now,” Octavia admitted, “before we get him though... can I ask you something?” 

Clarke felt a rush of fear... Did Octavia know what happened? 

Did it matter? Clarke and Bellamy were adults, after all... looking into O’s now dry, but still puffy and red eyes, Clarke nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat, “Octavia, you can ask me anything.” 

“Do you think Bell would walk me down the aisle if I asked him?” she wondered, her face looked so vulnerable, “I- he’s my only family, Clarke... Well, I guess including you, Rory and Lincoln. I just want him to know how special he is to me.” 

Now, Clarke was crying. Wiping her tears away, she let out a small laugh, “I think that Bellamy would treasure that, Octavia,” she affirmed, “and don’t worry about the order or anything. I can adjust and promise not to throw off your ceremony.” 

“Shit, I didn’t even think about that, Clarke,” Octavia laughed, “Thanks...” 

“Anytime.” 

With a smile, Clarke put her arms around O and gave her a long and hearty hug. For some reason, this conversation (and this weekend) made it feel like Clarke had gotten a sister back... that sentiment in itself struck Clarke like a brick, “I love you, O,” she said, and now she was definitely crying. 

“Oh my god, Clarke,” she felt sobs rack through her friend, “you’re making me cry...” 

As they pulled away both of the girls just grabbed a tissue and wiped their eyes. When Octavia recovered, she nodded, “I love you, too, Clarke. And it’s really good to have you back. I didn’t realize how much I missed you until we went to get your dress fitted... I’m glad we can be family- even if it's unorthodox. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, Rory... She connects all of us to one another... We’re family no matter what happens between you and my brother, you know?” 

At that, Clarke had to pause... She had been so worried about ruining her family, that she didn’t realize that she was going to be connected to them no matter what she did when it came to Bellamy, “Yeah,” Clarke affirmed, “Thanks for that.” 

“Of course,” Octavia said. Turning, she yelled, “Bell! Get your dumb butt out here!” 

“You really need to work on your insults,” Bellamy said, he was in his pajamas and drying his hair. Clarke hadn’t even realized he showered. Seeing O’s red-rimmed eyes, Bellamy jumped into motion and kneeled in front of his sister, “Are you okay, O? Did Lincoln do something? If that bastard ran off, I swear I will hunt him-” 

“No, nothing like that,” Octavia said, “I was just processing stuff... you know?” 

Bellamy nodded, taking his sister’s hand, “Yeah,” he said, “are you okay?” 

“Yeah... Thanks to Clarke,” O said, smiling up at Clarke. As Clarke caught Bellamy looking at her, she felt her chest swell- his eyes were just so full of tender love, it took her breath away. 

“Yeah, our Princess has that effect on people,” he murmured, one of his hands finding her knee and squeezing it affectionately. Overwhelmed, Clarke had to look away. As if sensing her emotions, Bellamy looked back to Octavia, “Did you need anything else, O?” 

“Well, I was hoping... if you wouldn’t mind,” she sputtered.

“It’s okay, you can ask him,” Clarke placed her hand on O’s shoulder and encouraged her. In response, her friend took a deep breath and smiled. 

“Bell, will you walk me down the aisle?” 

For a moment, Bellamy just rocked back on his feet, as if he had been hit. Clarke looked to Octavia and saw panic flash over her features... But a moment later, her expression was one of relief, as Bellamy basically lunged at his sister, and lifted her up, and into a hug.

“Of course, O!” He said, hugging his sister tightly. 

Octavia hugged him back, and then pounded on his arms when he didn't let go, “Okay Bell, put me down!” 

“Alright, fine,” he laughed, dropping her gracelessly, and Octavia had to grab Clarke to avoid falling on the ground. Moments later, she was playfully pushing her brother, and they were laughing. 

For a moment, Clarke was taken back to the first night she had really talked to Bellamy... She couldn’t believe how much things could change. How much her heart could heal, just by having them back in her life. 

Once they were done horsing around, Octavia turned to Clarke and said, “Okay, shower and get some clothes on... I gotta steal you from my brother.” 

Clarke merely rolled her eyes at Octavia’s teasing. Once her friend left, she got up to head to the shower. It was then that she felt a strong hand grab hers. In seconds, Bellamy had her wrapped in his arms, and her face was buried in his neck. Pulling back slightly, Clarke saw his eyes, they were red and he looked incredibly emotional, “Hey, hey,” she murmured, raising her hands, and wiping his tears away, “you’re okay... It’s okay.” 

“Yeah,” he said, working his jaw, and keeping his eyes on hers, “it’s okay.” 

As she pulled her hands away, Bell caught one of them, and kissed it, “thank you, for being there for her... that means the world to me, Clarke.” 

“Well, you’re a good brother- just like you’re a good Dad. I’m glad you’ll be up there with her.” 

“Yeah,” Bellamy nodded. It was then that Clarke noticed just how close he was holding her. As she breathed, her chest pressed up against him. She could feel his thighs ghosting over her. Clarke closed her eyes as desire welled up in her lower belly. When she opened them, Bell's gaze was heated, and Clarke knew that if she leaned in just a little bit, they’d be done for. 

Against her volition, her eyes flicked from his piercing gaze to his beckoning lips and back. Biting her lower lip, Clarke looked away, “I should get ready, Octavia needs me.” 

“Yeah,” Bellamy said roughly, shaking his head. With a small apology, he released her, and Clarke made for the shower as quickly as she could- before she changed her mind.


	17. Track Seventeen: Rules We Break Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations are had, and Clarke hears some much-needed truths.

“There we go,” Clarke said, as she put the last pin in Octavia’s hair, “Your hair is so long, but I love the braids that you picked.” 

“Thanks,” Octavia said, turning side to side and examining her hair, “I have to say, I am thankful for your talented hands. You are quite the artist...” 

“Eh, I spend more time with spreadsheets... but yeah, it's nice to do something creative again. Like decorating the hall and stuff.” 

“Well, maybe you could do something more artistic, maybe sell paintings or something? Do lessons from the café?” 

“Maybe,” Clarke said, “We’ll see once Rory is older, she takes up a lot of my time," Clarke paused to focus on the tiara she was placing on O's head, "though I will say it’s nice to have Bellamy around. I didn’t realize how hard being a single parent was until he stepped in.” 

“Yeah, Bell’s nice like that,” Octavia said, and then Clarke got started on the train of her dress. After a minute of silence, the bride spoke again, “So, how was the sex?” 

Clarke stood up so fast she hit her head on Octavia’s elbow, “Shit! Fuck!” 

“That good? Huh!” O said, laughing her ass off. Rubbing her head still, Clarke finally made eye contact with Octavia. 

“How’d you know?” 

“You’re not as wound up. And I saw your underwear on the floor by the bed,” O said, "people don’t usually forget that unless they're not paying attention... and there’s only one reason why someone would be getting undressed without paying attention to their clothes.” 

Oh god, her eyes were practically sparkling. 

“Looks like Harper owes me fifty bucks.” 

“What? You bet on us sleeping together?” 

“Of course. It was a wise decision... Once I saw Rory wasn’t here, I figured it would happen. You have no self-control when it comes to him. While he doesn’t care to have any self-control with you. Easy call.” 

“Well, I’m glad I’m so transparent,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes. 

“You actually aren’t. I just know you,” looking up, Clarke saw that she was smirking, “So... like I asked, how wa-” 

“Octavia, don’t. He’s your brother... I'm not answering that.” 

“Well, I don’t want to know anything gross. I just want to know if I need to buy you a food processor anytime soon.” 

“It’s not happening again,” Clarke said, “so, that won’t be needed.” 

“Jesus, Clarke, you have to be kidding me,” Octavia said, clearly exasperated, “this is exhausting! You two are made for each other! Stop being a masochist. No one wants you to suffer...” 

“Maybe I want me to suffer!” Clarke said, and as the words left her, she knew they made absolutely no sense, “I told you, he deserves better." 

“Well, I don’t believe that,” Octavia said, turning back around. For a couple of minutes, Clarke fiddled with the dress again, “Clarke. You are _it_ for him, you know that, right?” 

“What?” 

“Look, Bell wasn’t himself for _six years,_ Clarke... he was unhappy. He was disconnected. He was going to marry a woman he didn’t love. Someone he didn’t really know, even though he dated her for three years. Then, you came back and it was like night and day.” Octavia paused, walking over to Clarke, “you say he deserves better... but he isn’t going to settle for anyone else, at least not anytime soon.” 

Clarke remained silent as she took in her friend’s words.

“This is the last I’ll say about it... Clarke, when you think about a happy life- what do you think of? Is he there?” 

It took a lot on her part, but Clarke managed a nod. 

“and could you just replace him with anyone else?” 

Clarke bit her lip absentmindedly and let out a small, “no.” 

“Then why do you think he could replace you?” 

Clarke thought about that for a bit, and then she admitted her deepest fear, “I just don’t want to hurt him again.” 

“Then don’t,” Octavia said simply. Taking a deep breath, the bride smiled, “Now, when did I get so wise? Lincoln must be rubbing off on me. Next thing you know, I’ll have a talk show!” 

Clarke just smiled as her friend made her way to the door, “I’m going to the bathroom!” she announced.

Just as O was exiting, Bell caught the door. 

“Can I come in?” he asked, looking around. 

“Yeah.” 

“You look beautiful, Clarke.” 

Clarke couldn’t help but blush. She didn’t think this particular shade was her color... but she did get a lot of compliments on it. Walking over to the couch she sat down, “Thank you. You look really handsome.” 

And he did look good in that suit. And with him blushing, he looked even better. Realizing that she was staring, she shook her head, “Did you just come in here to tell me I look pretty?” 

“Rory sent me a video, wanna watch it?” he asked, looking giddy with excitement, “it’s not long, but I thought after all that emotion earlier, you’d enjoy watching something silly.” 

“Yeah, definitely,” Clarke patted the seat next to her, and Bell sat down. 

* * *

By the time Octavia got back with Harper and Maya, Clarke had watched the video twice over, and she had tears of laughter in her eyes. 

“I didn’t even know she could play the piano!” Clarke said, “have you been teaching her?” 

“Yeah, a little bit,” Bellamy said, “She's a natural. I’m gonna put this at the end of the last song of the album- if that’s okay with you.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, lots of artists do little things like that,” Bellamy said, “plus its Rory’s first song, so, I gotta support her career.” 

“Oh, is that a video of Rory?” Octavia squealed, “lemme see! Harper, Maya, come see how cute my niece is!” 

“Who's the other kid?” Harper asked. 

“That’s John Jr. Murphy’s son,” Clarke explained. 

“They’re so cute! Rory is adorable, seriously.”

As the girls fawned over Rory, Bellamy felt a hand slip through his and squeeze. When he looked at Clarke, her expression was softer than he expected, and she was looking right at him. She held his hand until Harper gave him his phone back. When he left, Clarke followed him. 

Once they were outside the room, she stopped him, “Hey, I just wanted to say thank you.” 

“What for?” he asked, genuinely curious. In response, Clarke stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. 

“For being good to me, for knowing what I need, and giving it,” Clarke said against his chest, “I- I'm lucky to have you, Bellamy.” 

"Me too, Princess," he said, planting a kiss on the crown of her head, "I'm lucky to have you, too." 

With his arms around Clarke, he had to hold back tears. It was an emotional day all around for him, and Clarke letting down her walls... Well, it was unexpected. Eventually, the pair let go, and Clarke smiled softly. 

"I'm gonna..." he said pointing down the hall.

“I’ll see you soon,” she assured him. 

The ceremony was beautiful, and the entire time Bellamy had been on the brink of tears. His heart ached as he thought about how his mom should have been there... Walking O down the aisle had been more emotional than he realized. 

When the reception rolled around, Bellamy gave a small speech about how amazing Octavia and Lincoln were together. How they made one another stronger and wiser and he told them he knew they’d conquer whatever they set their minds to. Clarke’s speech was heartfelt and almost had him crying. When she lifted up her glass, she offered a toast, “May your love be strong, kind, enduring and may you have many long years together.” 

When the meal was done, it was time for Lincoln and Octavia’s first dance. That hit Bellamy the hardest. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. As others made their way to the dance floor, Bellamy got up, walked out of the room, and headed to the bathroom. Before the door could close behind him, someone else was walking in, too. 

_It was Clarke._

Without turning around, she closed the door and locked it, “talk to me, Bell.” 

“If I talk right now, I don’t think I’ll make it through the reception,” he said. 

“Okay,” Clarke moved forward and grabbed his hand, “Are you going to come and dance with me?” 

“Yeah,” he said, and with a smile, he pulled her into an embrace and began to move. 

“I didn’t mean dance in the bathroom, Bellamy,” she laughed. 

“Hey, at least it’s a nice bathroom,” he began to hum, as Clarke gave in and danced with him for a minute. 

“I love you,” she said, it was barely there, and he wasn’t even sure she realized she said it. When she noticed that he wasn’t humming anymore, Clarke pulled away. Bellamy could see the look of embarrassment on her face, although she tried to hide from him, “I-uh, I should go, I’ll see you at the reception.” 

_“Clarke,”_ she paused at the sound of his voice and turned to him, “you know how I feel.” 

Clarke gave him a small smile and nodded. “Yes, I do,” she said before she slipped out of the room.


	18. Track Eighteen: Rules We Break, Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is smut in this chapter

During the reception, Clarke made it a point to avoid Bellamy. Every now and then, she would feel his heated gaze on her, but she remained stoic. 

She noticed that he didn’t dance with anyone else- except for a ten-year-old girl. Clarke remembered that the little girl was Lincoln's niece. Watching the little girl dance on Bell’s feet and hold his hands, Clarke was overcome with a small sadness. 

_She missed Rory._

She missed her so much. 

She didn’t realize that she had started crying until Bell was walking toward her with a look of concern on his face. 

“What's wrong?” he asked, his hand coming up to brush a tear from her cheek. 

“I just miss my baby,” Clarke said, “I’m not usually away from her so long.” 

“Hey, Princess,” he murmured, pulling her close to him, “I miss her, too.” 

“I think I want to go back to our room,” Clarke said, “is that socially acceptable now?” 

Bellamy let out a small laugh and nodded, “I’ll go with you.” 

So, they found Octavia and Lincoln and said their goodbyes. Lincoln had a little sparkle in his eye when he saw them, “I’m moving in with Octavia until she sells the house, I’d love to meet Rory then,” he said. 

“Yeah, sounds perfect,” Clarke smiled, “I’m sure she will be so excited about having an uncle!” 

“She better!” O said, hugging Lincoln and patting his chest, “He’s pretty great.” 

The look of pure adoration the couple shared sent an arrow through Clarke’s heart. She was happy for them, yes... but she wondered if she could ever have that for herself. 

_You could..._ a voice deep inside taunted her. As she considered it, she watched Bellamy hug his sister and give her a kiss on the cheek.

Suddenly, Clarke was thinking about all the ways that Bellamy could make her feel better... Octavia was right, she had no self-control when it came to the man.

 _No,_ she told herself, _there were rules. Last night couldn't happen again._

Clarke hugged O, and then she was headed back to the hotel room, with Bellamy hot on her heels. 

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked as he caught up to her. 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Well, you were pretty abrupt back there...” Bellamy said, “Is this just about Rory?” 

“Yeah, what else would it be about?” she asked, only pausing to press the elevator door. 

“Well, I thought maybe you were upset about last night?” 

“We shouldn’t talk about it, Bell,” Clarke said, tapping her foot impatiently. 

“Clarke, you said you love me,” his voice was pleading. 

“Yeah, I know, I was there.” 

Suddenly the elevator dinged and opened up to them. There was a whole group of old ladies that must have been coming up from the parking lot, so Clarke paused her boiling mini-freak out and got in, pressing the button for their floor. Both of them were silent until they made it to the room, then Clarke went right to the minibar, and opened a Jameson’s, downing the little bottle quickly. 

“Okay, you aren’t going to talk to me... So, I’m gonna shower,” Bellamy said, sounding frustrated. 

“Bell, wait.” 

“What’s up?” 

“Can you, uh... Can you unzip my dress? You zipped it earlier, and I don’t think I could...” 

“You sure you don’t just want my hands on you?” he said, grinning like the cat that caught the canary. 

“Fine, then don’t,” She said, turning back around to the minibar, she grabbed another bottle at random. Before she could open it, Bellamy’s hand stilled hers. 

“Please, don’t just get drunk. If you’re uncomfortable with what happened, tell me.” 

“I’m not uncomfortable, Bell.” 

“Then what’s going on?” 

“It’s stupid,” she said, putting the bottle down, and looking up at him. As she shied away from him, he stepped behind her and unzipped her dress for her. 

“Clarke,” he whispered in her ear, his warm breath hitting her sensitive nerves, “Please, please don’t shut down. Not again...” 

Clarke was breathing heavily by the time he was across the room. She watched as he stripped down to his boxers, and put his suit in the dry-cleaning bag he had. God, he was beautiful. After she heard the shower turn on, Clarke took her dress off, and headed into the bathroom, “Bell?” she asked, “I’m gonna wash my face off.” 

“Okay,” he said, and she could hear the water hitting his body mid-spray, “take your time.” 

Clarke did take her time, as she enjoyed the feel of warm steam around her. After she brushed her teeth, she wondered how Bellamy would react if she got in the shower with him. They’d showered together before, back when they were dating. Clarke knew that Bellamy was a very physically-affectionate person. He enjoyed washing her hair, her body... and she had enjoyed it, too. 

_Fuck it._

Clarke took off her slip and undergarments. With slight trepidation, she pulled the door to the shower open. When she looked up, she saw Bellamy staring at her. His eyes were wide, in disbelief, but a grin spread across his face in mere seconds. Steeling herself, Clarke slid underneath the spray, and wet her hair. Without a word, she felt Bell's hands begin to wash her stomach. She held her breath as he pulled her closer to himself. As his hands dragged the suds across her skin, she felt his cock getting hard against her back. 

And then he was massaging her breasts. When the soap ran out, he didn’t stop though. As he teased her breasts, she felt her body grow tense and heated, and her cunt began to ache. Without giving it too much thought, Clarke turned around and pulled Bellamy into a kiss. His hands traveled down to her ass. When she wrapped her hand around his half-erect cock, he gave her a squeeze. 

She spent a minute working him until his length was hot and heavy in her and. Bellamy let out a moan when she used her thumb to spread his precum all over the head of his cock, and down his length, “Clarke,” he moaned, bucking his hips reflexively, “What are you doing?” 

“I believe I’m jerking you off,” she said simply. 

“So, your rules?” he asked, using his fingers to tilt her head toward him. 

“I’ve never been much good at keeping them. And It’s recently come to my attention that I have no self-control when it comes to you.” 

He didn’t say anything else.

No, instead, his lips crashed into hers, and he kissed her senseless. Soon, her legs were wrapped around his hips, and he had her against the shower wall, as his lips traveled from her neck to her breast. 

Clarke moved her hips against him, in search of any source of friction, as he sucked her nipples into tight, hard peaks. When he moved to the other breast, she dug her hands into his hair and moaned. Suddenly, his upper body was all that held up against the wall, and one of his hands fell away. When Clarke opened her eyes, she saw him looking down at himself as he used the head of his dick to tease her clit. 

“Mmm...” she moaned, as she felt a shock of arousal shoot up through her body. When Bellamy made eye contact with her, she nodded and felt him push into her slowly. As he bottomed out, they let out a sigh of relief- that is until his lips were on hers again, and he was licking into her mouth. 

As the savage kisses continued, Bellamy began to thrust into her, and Clarke could feel the pressure already building up. As his thrusts became deeper, she tightened her grip around his shoulders and began to meet him, thrust for thrust. 

“Fuck, Clarke,” Bellamy said, groaning into her chest, “I- _fuck-”_

Clarke let out a satisfied whimper, as he became overwhelmed by her clenching pussy, “You like that?” she asked. When he nodded, she did it again, this time his hands caught her hips, and they both stilled as she just continued to clench and unclench around him. Sealing his mouth over hers, Bellamy took her off guard, as he hooked his arms under her legs and began to pound into her mercilessly. 

Clarke could hear the sound of their wet skin slapping together, as his cock stretched her wide. When she lost control and began to melt into him, he started dragging his hips against her- hitting her clit perfectly. 

“Oh, my god,” she moaned, feeling the movement in her core, “Bell, I’m gonna come.” 

“Alright,” he said, not slowing down, “It’s okay, I’ve got you, babe.” 

And that was all it took. As Clarke held Bellamy tight, she felt her greedy cunt trying to pull him deeper and deeper until she was exploding with white-hot pleasure and whimpering incoherent words alongside his name. At the tail end of her orgasm, she felt him go deeper and deeper until his hips stilled, and he spilled into her. When she opened her eyes, Bellamy had his forehead resting against her chest. They were both shaking and panting, and Bell held her up as long as she needed it. In return, she held him and ran her fingers through his hair, just the way he liked. 

_“Clarke,"_ Bellamy said her name as if it were both a prayer and a plea, _"Clarke..."_

 _Let me love you,_ it seemed to say. 

_"I know, Bell,"_ she said, hot tears rolling down her face _, "I know."_


	19. Track Nineteen: The Mile High Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plane ride home + the title of the Chapter... need I say more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Sorry, it's been a while. I've been writing some other stuff... but finally got clear direction on this chapter. Since it's been so long, this chapter is a bit of a treat. You've got fluff, you've got smut, and you've got feelings!
> 
> I hope you enjoy. As always I love comments- they feed my writing beast. 
> 
> I will be working on the next chapter shortly, as well!

Clarke woke to the sound of her phone going off. After a minute, she realized it was her mom’s ringtone. Before she could sit up, Bellamy had answered it, “Hey, everything okay?” he asked, his voice still thick from sleep. 

“Yeah, that’s fine, put her on,” Immediately, Bellamy’s demeanor changed, “Rory, sweetheart, is everything okay?”

As Bell sat with his back against the headrest, “ Mhmm ... oh, sweetie, me and mommy are fine. You just had a bad dream.” 

“You want what?” he asked, laughing as he turned to Clarke, “you want proof of life? Rory, where did you hear something like that?” Bellamy pursed his lips as Clarke heard Rory saying something excitedly, “You know? You’re right. I’m  gonna put you on speakerphone.” 

Clarke smiled as she wriggled her way over to Bellamy and set her head in his lap. Taking the phone from him, they both spoke with Rory while Bellamy ran his fingers through her hair. 

“We miss you too, baby,” Clarke said after Rory was finally convinced that both her parents were okay, “and Daddy and I are coming home today.”

“Really?” Rory said, excitement bursting in her voice, “will daddy have the guest room? If he needs it, he can have my princess bed, I can sleep on the couch, or in the closet. Oh, this will be great! Thank you, Mommy!” 

Before Clarke could say anything else, the line was dead. 

As Bellamy’s fingers wrapped around the phone, Clarke let out a laugh, “I- uh, think she misunderstood.” 

“Well, it’s good to know that she would be okay with it if we ever got there,” Bellamy said lowly, “That means a lot.” 

“Yeah,” Clarke agreed, closing her eyes as Bellamy’s fingers began to work through her hair again. Suddenly, an idea struck her, and Clarke found herself venturing out into uncharted water, “you... could stay with us sometime if you want. I know with Lincoln at the house now and then O selling it, you’re going to need a place to go.” 

“That sounds good,” Bellamy’s voice sounded low and content, and Clarke couldn’t help but want to snuggle into him. 

“Do you want to lay down?” she asked, managing to rise up enough so Bellamy could slide down the bed. Once he settled in, Clarke laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around his waist, “Also, awesome parenting, Blake.” 

“Thanks, babe,” Bellamy laughed, his fingers running up and down her spine. Instead of balking at it or fighting it, Clarke melted into him and enjoyed the feeling his lips on her forehead, before she once again fell asleep.

Clarke kept her eyes sealed shut as the plane began to lift off. For her, this was always the worst part. Clarke was still afraid that the plane would suddenly blow an engine, or not have enough fuel to lift off- and then everyone aboard would die horrible gnarly deaths. Maybe she wouldn’t even be identifiable. 

“It’s over,” a soft, but deep voice whispered into her ear, as  Bellamy  held her hand in his gentle grasp, “see, you made it.” 

Slowly, Clarke’s eyes fluttered open to find Bellamy kissing her knuckles and smiling, “thanks,” she whispered sheepishly, “I know- I'm a big baby.” 

“I don’t think that,” Bellamy said, settling back in his seat, and wrapping his arm around Clarke’s shoulder, “Listen, Clarke, we’re traveling in the sky in an almost 400 ton metal vessel- at speeds that would rip our faces off, if it weren’t for said metal... it’s a valid fear.” 

“What the hell, Bell!" Clarke hissed dramatically- feigning panic, “I was just afraid of lift-off and landing! I didn’t even think of those  things... oh, my god. The plane could rip open  _ right now _ ...” 

“I- I,” Bellamy stuttered, a look of panic in his own eyes. However, his face went slack as Clarke cracked a grin and started to giggle, “Jesus, Clarke. I thought you were going to have a panic attack.”

“Well, maybe I would have... what would you have done then?” Clarke had meant it more like a ‘you get more than what you bargain for’ sort of statement. It was meant to be sassy and mostly rhetorical. However, his response was one she wasn’t at all prepared for- because as soon as he registered what she said, his lips were on hers. Clarke couldn’t catch her breath as his tongue licked into her mouth, and his fingers curled around her waist. Clarke relished the little groan he let out when he turned his head to get a better angle and kiss her even deeper. As they pretty much made out, Clarke had to fight every instinct that told her to get into his lap- to take him right then and there. 

The mere thought of that got her riled up. 

As soon as he pulled away, Clarke let out a little whine and opened her eyes to see his smug grin and soft brown eyes staring back at her. Before he could say anything, though, an attendant came by to take their drink orders, and all Clarke could do was stare blankly at Bellamy as he pretended that he didn’t just kiss her  _ like that _ , in a cabin full of strangers. 

A half-hour later, they were downing Bloody  Marys and not really watching some in-flight movie when Clarke felt a warm hand under her blanket. Clarke kept her eyes on the screen as it began to roam up her thigh- leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Turning to Bellamy, she noticed the tips of his ears turning red, and there was a slight blush on his neck- both were tell-tale signs he was feeling naughty. Throwing caution to the wind, Clarke let her legs fall open and pretended not to notice when his hand traveled all the way up to her panties, pulling her dress up along the way. Before his hand could cup her, though, Clarke stood up. 

She didn’t say a word as she brushed past Bellamy. However, she did look back when she was a few seats away and raised an eyebrow at him. If he didn’t get the point now, she wasn’t going to spell it out. 

It took him a mere thirty seconds to knock on the door. It was so light, Clarke thought that perhaps she imagined it. However, as she slowly opened the door, his dark gaze and ever-widening grin met her. Setting one finger to her lips, she pulled him in with her other hand.

“Shh... you’re going to have to be quiet,” she whispered as he shook his head and turned the lock.

As soon as he could, he set one hand on her cheek and the other on her waist, “Like I’m the loud one, princess...” and before she could defend herself, his lips were on hers, making the waves inside her toss to and  fro , as she lost all  sense of time. 

As his lips devoured her, Bellamy’s hands went down to cup her ass. With her breasts pressed against him and his hands on her backside, Clarke had the distinct sensation of being completely and utterly protected and safe- all the while, tiny moans escaped from her as he touched her just the right way. 

Moments later, he surprised her by sliding his leg between her thighs and rubbing it against her center. As he kissed her and messaged her ass thoroughly, she began to rut against him in search of the ever-winding tension and its breaking point. 

After a little bit of that, Bellamy pulled away, his smirk absolutely devilish, “Alright, we  gotta make this quick.” 

“Have you done this before?” Clarke whispered, hating herself a little for desperately hoping this would be both of their first times fucking on a plane. 

“Nope, never even wanted to until now,” he said, licking his lip lightly and raising his eyebrows as he made a twirling motion with his finger, “turn around.” 

Despite her surprise, Clarke did as he asked. Looking behind her, she watched as he set her hands on the wall and opened her legs. It was like he was staging her for a photo almost- and she followed his gentle direction effortlessly. 

When her dress came up and her panties went down, Clarke closed her eyes and waited in anticipation for what Bellamy might do next. Gentle hands traveled up her back and to her shoulders, then down her back and to her ass. As his warm palms circled her thighs and moved up to cup her tits, Clarke let out a rush of air.

"You good?" Bellamy asked, nosing at her neck.

"Yeah, you just... you feel," Clarke couldn't quite find a word for how Bellamy was making her feel. Good? Yes. Overwhelmed? a little. Finally, she settled on "I've always loved your hands." 

Before Clarke could second guess what her words Bellamy let out a little laugh, "Well, that's good- because my hands love you," he said, squeezing her tits hard, and then playing with her nipples- making Clarke's chuckle come out as more of a moan. After a quick kiss on her neck, Bellamy's hands fell away and then she could feel the head of his cock nudging into her, "let me know if it's too much like this." 

"Mhmm," Clarke acknowledged, as she felt him filling her- the stretch was almost too much like this. But it was perfect. 

“I’ve got you,” Bellamy’s voice sounded so calm and self-assured as he slid deeper into her. With his hands on her hips, he tested out the angle- fucking her slow and deep, making Clarke’s toes curl and her knuckles turn white as she gripped the bathroom wall. 

Then, his hands were everywhere, both protecting and consuming her, as he set a punishing pace. Bell's voice was deep and sure as he uttered praises and assurances. As odd a time as it was for a revelation, Clarke suddenly had a deep sense that his words were like the roots of an ancient tree- strong, trustworthy, able to endure any storm. When a few tears slipped down her cheek, she had to push away the thought. 

Eventually, Bellamy's fingers moved her hair out of the way and she was able to look back and see him. The softness in his eyes took her breath away, and all she wanted to do was kiss him.  He leaned in when she did and cupped her cheek, letting his thumb graze her lips- yet, before they could kiss, Bellamy’s  free hand pressed hard against her clit and Clarke began to fall apart around him.

Feeling the buzz of her first orgasm, Clarke rammed herself against his lap- turning their fun a little rougher. With a small chuckle, Bellamy put his hands over hers and set them on the wall. Holding her down, his hips snapped over and over again until Clarke was struggling to hold in her whimpers. 

“You’re being so good, babe,” Bellamy murmured in her ear as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her upright. At this point, he was fucking right up into her, and it was so deep and so, so good, “how about I cover your mouth, so you can scream while I fuck your brains out?” 

With an eager nod, Clarke accepted his offer. As soon as his hand hit her lips, she was screaming in pleasure. Mostly, it was, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” but Clarke couldn’t tell you what she was saying after Bellamy slammed himself against her one last time and rubbed her clit until she came again- desperately taking as much of him in as she could while her screams of pleasure were muffled by him. Coming down, Clarke could feel his warmth filling her as his hips rocked against her ass, and his arms held her tight. 

“Fuck,” Bellamy gasped, resting his forehead against the nape of her neck. Feeling content, she brought a hand up to play with his curls as he whispered, “God, I love you.” 

When Clarke kissed his palm playfully, he laughed and uncovered her mouth so that she could say it back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, we'll be getting some Bellamy POV soon!

**Author's Note:**

> I am gifting this work to Sassqueenblake, because of her lovely comments about it speaking to her on a personal level. Thank you for being my Bellarke Sista. You are awesome, and I appreciate your enthusiastic support of this fic.
> 
> To everyone, thank you for all the views, comments and Kudos. you are all lovely, and make my life much more fun than it would be otherwise!


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